February 6th, 2009 15:43 EST
Cleansing your mouth and breath with more Bacon!
Well, as we all know, science has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that
most truly classy and intelligent "Human Beings" are absolutely obsessed
with the flavor of bacon!
Therefore, it only makes sense that there would be so many fun, tasty and
totally "off the wall" bacon flavored novelty items available out there to
continually allure our interests.
The first one that ever caught my attention and got me to "bite" was the old
original "Bacon Flavored Breath Mints" which don`t taste exactly like bacon,
any more than grape soda tastes exactly like grapes. But, clearly enough,
people out there really do seem to like them a lot, judging by how popular
of an item they are.
Then there were "Bacon Flavored Gummy Bears" which were a huge hit with the kids!
Next thing you knew, there were all sorts of fascinating Bacon Flavored
Novelty Treats, including Bacon Flavored Gum Balls, Jelly Beans, Lollipops,
Chocolate Bars, Ice Cream and, yes, my dedicated "Bacon Freaks," I haven`t
forgotten, and was merely saving our ever so wondrous "Bacon Jerky" for
Then it was Bacon Beverages, everything from Bacon Beer to Bacon Soda (Yep,) no pun intended, that`s Bacon Soda NOT Baking Soda-- LOL) and Bacon Infused Vodka to Bacon Flavored Tequila.
Then, an enlightened thought popped into the heads of all of these good
people who were now happily spending their day "chowing down" on Bacon Jelly Beans, Chocolate Bars, Lollipops and Bacon Ice Cream while guzzling Bacon Soda. They realized that, if they were going to still have any teeth left at
all, and in order to enjoy some real, premium quality, gourmet bacon made of
"actual-factual" pork, they were going to need to take better care of their teeth and increase their dental hygiene.
This, of course, ushered in the immediate and huge need for Bacon Flavored
Tooth Picks and dental floss. Thereby ensuring that you were now able to
maintain that romantically robust and magnificently meaty "bacon breath,"
but in a way that was not going to lead to tooth decay or other periodontal
Now, all is well in "Baconia" and people smell and taste precisely as any
civilized society dictates, exactly like the undisputed food of the gods,
Enough said, "got to get em" and protect those choppers, Bacon Freaks.
Our very way of life relies on our ability to "bite the ham that feeds us!"
Signing off at Pigging out!
Rocco "Boss Hog" Loosbrock
Use coupon code (sop) to get a 10% discount at www.baconfreak.com
Rocco owns and runs a Bacon of the Month Club called The Bacon Freak Bacon is Meat Candy Bacon Club as well as a Wine Club called the Coastal Vineyard Wine Club