December 7th, 2007 09:12 EST
Judyth Piazza chats with Jack Thomas
Jack Thomas, founder of NonNormie.com, and a seemingly ordinary guy with one emotionally destructive compulsion, was thrust into the ranks of Al-Anon and Alcoholics Anonymous. There he recovered. In the process he gathered cryptic data about what may be the largest laboratory of non-normal people in existence.
Jack was addicted to relationships with self-destructive alcoholic women, stemming from his alcoholic mother. Having had numerous relationships with this type, he married a woman with a progressively worsening drinking problem.
The more he tried to cure her, including years of expensive therapy and a costly move, the worse the drinking became. Jack`s Pastor referred him to Al-Anon "an A.A. program for the co-alcoholic (codependent) relatives and friends of alcoholics.
There Jack learned that he didn`t cause her drinking and couldn`t cure it. He could only set sane boundaries. Jack told her to either go into detox or leave. At first she agreed to the treatment and his insurance approved it but, just before entering, she backed out and left.
Devastated, Jack plunged further into Al-Anon recovery, faithfully working all of the Twelve Steps and acquiring an excellent sponsor. Within two years he was sponsoring many new members, himself, while hosting the Introduction for Newcomers. During this time Jack took over the Alateen program, for children of alcoholics ages ten to teen in Torrance, CA, and ran it for three years. Then his Pastor asked him to design and lead a codependency recovery group, which he headed for several years, and soon he became a lay counselor for the church.
Fascinated with helping people recover, Jack jumped into learning even more about emotional disorders. He read the DSM III (The Psychiatrist`s bible ") cover to cover, took courses, finished his Associates Degree and veraciously studied everything on the subject that he found.
He began to notice more and more commonalties amongst the emotionally non-normal ( non-normies "), cataloging them in a six-hundred page workbook. Also, all of them had large internal deposits of repressed anger that they didn`t want to give up "even though it appeared to be the root of their problem. Stockpiled rage had led to their developing emotionally driven personalities.
This motivated Jack to ask: If stored un-grieved (unprocessed) anger was the basis for people becoming emotionally non-normal, why would they cling to it if it was destroying them psychologically? The answer came after years of probing the hidden agendas and psyches of thousands of emotionally non-normal people that he encountered.