Contact theSOPAbout theSOPSupport theSOPWritersEditorsManaging Editors
theSOP logo
Published:August 16th, 2008 16:34 EST
Finding Happiness

Finding Happiness

By Melissa Zollo

Imagine being able to handle a challenge, problem or overcome an obstacle in your life without being in a constant state of distress, panic, rage, or depression? Would you be happy then? And does being able to meet, deal and or attempt to overcome problems, conflicts and difficulties have anything to do with increasing your levels of happiness? 
Recently, I met a woman who had the luxury of someone else supporting her so that she could stay home, rest, renew, and recharge herself. Instead, she spent her time worrying about what might go wrong. She was unable to appreciate and enjoy the gift of time. Her thoughts actually reduced her sense of pleasure and fulfillment. Based on our conversation, she soon realized that her level of awareness repelled happiness. Therefore, the beautiful gift had not acted as a cause or stimulant to increase her sense of self-joy.  
I then encountered a man who had been helped through many hard times, unhappy relationships with family members, a financial crisis, and many difficult days with his employer and co-workers. One would think he`d be so happy and grateful, yet his behavior and conversations mirrored a dampened spirit rather than a happy, grateful spirit. He lived in a state of distraction and injury. He felt comfortable focusing on crisis. Again, he had received gifts but his lack of recognition of them coupled with his misuse of emotion and awareness left him unable to connect with his many positive experiences. 
I believe that many of us would deal with the unfinished business of our past and develop emotional resilience if we knew for certain that our body produces a chemistry that is a perfect match to our beliefs. Science is now documenting what healers and mystics have known for centuries: We are greater than any beliefs we have learned or acquired. 
Our awareness of being along with each cell of our body holds the power to heal us.

It is up to the individual to make time to recycle such life-denying emotions such as anger, jealousy, worry, guilt and hatred into life affirming feelings of happiness, joy, hopefulness and love. Regardless of our family tree, color of our skin, education, religion, or lifestyle, when conditions are right, many limiting and negative memories can be triggered and unwanted mental influences released, igniting us into actions we really do not want to take. Unless we understand that thought is creative and manifests itself, we will not be inspired to change our mental blueprints, thought patterns and emotional moods in the moment. 
Once we understand the language of our feelings without shame and decide to keep on growing in the direction of honesty, clarity and joy, we can eliminate many negative expressions from our lives; gain better health; experience peace of mind; find happiness and freedom from enslavement to false error patterns and habits.  
It seems that many of us take the long route around the mountain of self-acceptance and self-approval because we have been programmed to live in a toxic sea of mental and emotional poisons. For some, the cure for being miserable is as simple as resolving what is bothering them. Through understanding and acceptance of some previously hidden memory or fixed belief they are restored. They are free to deal, feel, and heal. Taking inner action opens the door to the present moment and the journey to joy and happiness begins. For others, focusing on memories of happiness simply increases their happiness levels.  
The best tip I can share and the most valuable thing you will ever do while on your quest for happiness is to take complete control over all of the suggestive elements in your life. What are you listening to? What are your conversations with others about? Is your self-talk success talk? Or is everything that makes up your personal environment acting as an excuse for you to perpetuate self-condemnation and pain?

The author John Dryden once said: "First we make our habits and then our habits make us."

Are you in the habit of feeling frustrated and unhappy, or calm and peaceful? Our level of happiness does not depend upon our possessions or anyone outside of ourselves. It depends entirely upon our inner blueprints, desires, decisions, focus and connection to our deeper self. Happiness is directly linked to the thoughts we choose to entertain and how we respond to people and situations we encounter, moment by moment.  
If each of us decides to cut short our visits into fearful, angry emotional moods, we will easily shift our attention out of conflict and into resolution. In time (and with practice) we will prolong our happiness responses, strengthen our identification with uplifting emotional moods, expand our mind and move into joy-producing energy fields. 
There is no one to change but ourselves. It is up to each of us to enhance our ability to live happily ever after in the here and now and influence the quality of our lives.  
Never close a door on a dream -- your dreams are calling you!

Melissa Zollo is an Imagist, inspirational speaker, consultant and author of the "Discover the Power of Imagination" audio program. Melissa conducts "Dream Your World Into Being Seminars". Visit  for information on her next IMAGE FIRST CLINIC and to sign up for a FREE newsletter.