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Published:September 7th, 2009 07:20 EST
The Breeder

The Breeder

By Rouben Alikian

 I don`t think it would surprise if I said we are amazing creatures. Forget our achievements, our evolution and all that. Instead, see us for what we really are, without all of this machinery, technology, gadgets, vanities and external appearances. See yourself as the person you are inside and tell me that you would not try to keep the flame of emotion going in the direst of circumstances.


 Think of it, if your life is in danger and you are with the one you love, will you ignore the relationship to try and reach the end of the ordeal or instead use the circumstances to strengthen it?


 When the bounds of society, politeness, ethics, culture, civilization and all those restrictions are shed and replaced by the most primal need to survive, only then can one truly search the depths of the soul and see what is desired. Only when one knows what is wanted will he or she be able to understand the kind of human being that waits inside.


 See, this world is filled to the brim with unrealistic losers. Losers who thought that everything will fall into place with time. The job, the promotion, the marriage, the kids, the house, the cars, the money. But then it seems, they didn`t know what they wanted and wound up like Lucky Looey. Let me tell you about Lucky Looey.


 He was this breeder, the kind who just wants to get married ASAP and have a bunch of kids to live happily ever after. But, let`s face it, the happily ever after " fairy tale bull is just so rare in these days of unreliable relationships built on mercantile contracts, that it is exactly why it`s a fairy tale ending, the kind that doesn`t happen anymore.


 So, Looey got married and out came three daughters one after the other from his sawn off little p*ick of a wife whom he didn`t love and married just for the fact that they were two perfectly compatible people with matching needs. He had a house, she needed one. He had a car, she needed one. He had some cash, she wanted it. He had a p*nis, she desperately desired one.


 Then four years passed like nothing and I saw Looey for the first time after his marriage. I`ll be honest, I didn`t recognize him for the first half a minute of our Hello how are you " conversation. He was a changed man. A shattered man. No more enviably lush hair, just a huge bald spot. No more handsome smile, just bent and crooked teeth. No more bright eyes, only a pair of heavy glasses. No more graceful posture, replaced by a slavish curve of a back.


 Yep, it wasn`t Looey that I was looking at, it was a man broken by something he wasn`t ready for, something that broke his dreams. And a man with broken dreams is a sad, sad thing to look at. Maybe it was no surprise to me when this thirty four year old father of three didn`t wake up one morning in 2007. His heart had stopped.


 I know what happened and as damned as I am for writing it, I knew it was coming. You could see it in his eyes, in the stress, the inhuman responsibility he wasn`t tailored for like a paper bag is not made to carry dumbbells.


 Evaluate what you want, think of it, decide and act accordingly, don`t end up like Looey, it`s just not worth it. And so, circumstances bring out the emotional part in people, the one that makes or breaks us. It is in those times of challenge and defiance against the odds that we decide what to do with ourselves, whom to hate, whom to love and how and why, because hating for the wrong reason is just as futile as not knowing what the right reason for loving is. Remember that.


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