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Published:February 20th, 2008 15:00 EST

A Necessary Piece to the Puzzle?

By Rex Owen Waide, Jr.

Is the old saying true? ‘It’s better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all?’ Who is to know for sure? These days, it seems no one really even knows what ‘love’ is. Or, as a matter of fact, if it is a myth or reality. Some people that have never neither felt nor encountered anything close to love, want it. But those who have had it, and as well, have had their heart handed to them on a rusty, silver platter; don’t want anything to do with it. But they have had a taste for it. And they can’t turn their back. Like Adam taking a bite of the forbidden quince. Is that the entity of love? Is it a forbidden feeling? If it is, a lot of people are in for big trouble. Because in a small way, we all want to have a bite of that fruit. Forbidden or not, we need it to fit somewhere in the jigsaw puzzle that makes up our lives. I can almost guarantee, that with the high divorce rates and so forth, that love is nothing. It wouldn’t surprise me one bit, to know that love is not embedded in the mind of a child at birth. But that it has to be taught to us by the environment surrounding us. And, needless to say, that’s not a far fetched assumption. Think of the significant other you have had that only wanted to hang out and watch movies. Or the one that always picked a fight. Or the one that only wanted to talk on the phone or text, but never see you. Obviously, those people don’t have the same mind set of love as the others around them. So, if love is something that needs to be progressively taught, is it as necessity?

Think about it, necessity is something that you need to continue life. No necessity means, not important to live happily. Think of all the times you have been hurt by a ‘loved one’. Was it a necessary part of a life to feel that and have all your feelings hemorrhage in your chest? I could have lived happily without it. There are so many people who only need themselves to feel content with life. And I think those are the only people that have an understanding of what life should be. Because they don’t have to ask for permission to sleep in on Saturday. They don’t have to make excuses why they are late for something. They are on their own, they make up the rules.

Perhaps the scenario of a job would fit the situation. If you have someone deep in your life, you answer to an associate (significant other), to your job (life). But if you have no associate, there are no excuses needed. No fighting done. No cheating. No unhappiness that you can’t find the source from. No one to answer to when things go wrong. Everyone even claims that being your own boss is the sky-high for living. Wouldn’t being alone and never understanding the lights and darks of love be the same?

I was in a relationship for two years, and by the end of it I couldn’t even breathe. I had to answer to somebody for everything I did. And I know I put that burden on them as well. But once that associate was gone, and I was alone. I didn’t have to shorten my time in the weight room. I didn’t have to call at a precise time. I didn’t have to deal with all the lies, neglect, AND (not or) disappointments.

So those of you who are without love, and have never experienced it; ask yourselves, “Is my time in life worth spending and dedicating it to one person, and having the high probability of being disappointed?”

And those that have or have had love, ask yourselves, “Was it worth it? Was every fight, excuse, late-night crying session, worth it?” I can guarantee, that no one reading this can describe love the same way anyone else can describe it. Everyone’s view is different. No single view of love, or the properties of love, is the same as another’s. Does that leave all of us destined to roam the world without that missing piece of our puzzle? Do the differing views determine our worthiness to find or be loved?

Is it BETTER to have LOVED and LOST, than to have NEVER LOVED AT ALL?