March 30th, 2009 11:36 EST
Take Time To Laugh Today
-How do porcupines make love?
Comparison of women with continents:
Between 18-20 women are like Africa " wild and unknown
Between 20-25 women are like Asia " hot and mysterious
Between 25-35 women are like America " technically perfect.
Between 35-45 women are like Europe- ruined but still interesting
Between 45-60 women are like Australia " everybody knows, but nobody goes!
Two snakes were promenading in the forest. Suddenly one asks the other:
-Are we poisonous?
-Why that question all of a sudden? asks the other.
-I bit my tongue and I wondered.
This one, my dentist told me, before she extracted my tooth:
A mouse is running away from a cat. She meets an elephant. She begs the elephant to hide her from the cat. OK " says the elephant, I`ll help you. Get behind my back. I`ll do my toilet on you and as it will cover you, the cat can never find you!" The mouse accepts, and gets behind the elephant and the elephant does his thing on her. However, a little bit of the mouse`s tail is still in the open and the cat sees it and hummm! eats up the mouse.
"Well, says the elephant, sorry pal, you should have known that if you go into any shit, you should go in all the way!!!"
A joke from the communist times:
An American family is visiting Moscow. They visit the newly opened hamburger restaurant and order four hamburgers. Everyone has become happy eating them. They order four more.
When they are munching the hamburgers the little son says: Daddy daddy! The first hamburger was very good, but this one is so hard, I can`t even bite it."
They call the waiter and complain.
Ah let me see "the waiter says You are right. they have forgotten a microphone in this one."