December 16th, 2008 12:24 EST
Self-Review Reveals No Mischief by Team Obama
(BREAKING NEWS--Chicago)--In a shocking departure from "politics as usual," President-elect (PE) Barack Obama announced that a review by his lawyer, Gregory Craig, found no direct contact with Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich about the sale of his Senate seat, made available by Obama`s ascension to the presidency.
In another stunning development, Obama reported that his bird dog lawyer also found no evidence that Obama`s transition aides did anything inappropriate, with legal advisers found to be especially clean.
It had been widely speculated by know it all pundits that Obama`s obsession with CHANGE might cause him to do something really obscene, like actually telling the truth, an unheard of practice among Illinois politicians, especially those raised in the truth-adverse environment of Chicago politics.
Obama promised to make the review public at a later, unspecified date. The PE claims to have held off because prosecutors asked for a delay and "I don`t want to interfere with an ongoing investigation."
U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald released a statement confirming the request.
Interesting intrigue seems to be in play here.
If Obama and his minions are really clean, why would Fitzgerald request the PE to delay release of an internal review?
Possible answer: Rahm Emanuel, Obama`s chief of staff.
Rumors about Emanuel are abundant and Obama added to the rumor mill by refusing to answer questions directly about his chief of staff.
Emanuel has kept his foul mouth shut for nearly a week, which is good for America`s children, but not much help to right-wing zealots looking to derail the Obama Express before the White House is taken over by socialist wonks.
Meanwhile, Obama is working diligently to avoid being arrested prior to January 20th, the date when he will be sworn into the presidency, and endowed with the Constitutional power to grant pardons, perhaps even to himself.