January 24th, 2010 19:30 EST
An Obese Lady Squashes Her Sweetheart to Death by Sitting on Him
I just want to say that I am sincerely sorry about this situation. I wish I could take it back. "
These are some words of regret spoken sadly by Mia Landingham to Judge Carolyn Friedland in a Cleveland courtroom last Wednesday, January 20th. Unbelievable as it is, Mia had sat on her boyfriend last August and squeezed the life out of her skinny sweetheart, Mikal Middleton-Bey.
Mia Landingham (LAND ING HAM) pleaded guilty to involuntary manslaughter and the judge sentenced her to only three years probation and 100 hours oF community service. Why such a light sentence, " one might ask?
For one thing, Mia had no priors. That helped. And maybe she had a good attorney as well. Perhaps her attorney told his 300 pound lady client to cry copious tears in the courtroom, and then the judge would have mercy on her.
Furthermore, it`s been reported that there was a history of domestic abuse. Maybe Mia was just defending herself, protecting herself against an abusive, violent partner. I don`t quite buy this, but I do not have all of the facts at my disposal.
I`ve heard also that Mia had been drinking all day long during the course of this unfortunate incident, back in August you see. I don`t know, however, if my sources are all that reliable?
I do know that it would take quite a few minutes to pull off this crime, to totally squash a man to death would require some effort and time. A strong will, or a great amount of resolve would have to be present, I should think.
I believe that this is the oddest form of homicide, or perhaps you would prefer to call it self-defense, that I have ever encountered in my whole life! Down right FREAKY, if you don`t mind me saying. The family too was startled and outraged by this measly sentence.
Mia will not do even one day of jail time. I doubt that she will go on a diet either! One acrimonious sister to Mikal Middleton-Bey retorted to the cameras, So basically you can say that I can go sit on somebody and get probation? I feel there wasn`t no justice. " Duh!
Picture this scene! The boyfriend was facedown on the couch as Mia smushed the life out of the thin (and apparently weak) Mikal. Why didn`t he have anymore oomph to push the blubberslush off of him? I think of this bizarre killing more as a first degree homicide. Mia planned this out and with her own free will, maliciously smothered every iota of being out of this poor man.
Mia should be on Ohio`s Death Row, not munchin` out at her nearest MacDonalds. She`s free to go to any drive-through fast food joint that she wants to, whether it be Burger King, Taco Bell, Whataburger or Long John Silvers. I hope she chokes on a ham sandwich, just like Mamma Cass Eliott (just kiddin` Mia).