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Published:March 3rd, 2010 11:26 EST

Reviewing "Alice in Wonderland" Before Actually Seeing It

By Andy Wright

The movie is as one would expect; it`s Tim Burton doing what he does with all his other films. Which is great if that`s what you`re into. I personally am over that and have become sick of it for some time now. Don`t get me wrong, he does a great job at it, and this is a great film; I on the other hand have grown tired of this and hated it.

Alice in WonderlandThe cast is essential at doing what you would expect from them; Johnny Depp does a tremendous job at doing what he always does: getting balls deep into his character and doing an amazing job at portraying the obscure and usually effeminate character (which I am also quite sick of). Anne Hathaway does a great job at seeming graceful and doing that in a hot way.

Helena Bonham Carter once again makes me feel very uncomfortable with the response she elicits with her character, making me feel some guilt for being attracted to her while she is clearly not the sex icon of the film (just like in Terminator Salvation, Planet of the Apes, and Fight Club, which were reserved for Moon Bloodgood, Estella Warren, and Meat Loaf respectively).

Alan Rickman sounds great but how about trying a new accent? Finally, Mia Wasikowska, did a just as good of a job because the weight was clearly taken off of her shoulders given the rest of the cast; she was also born in 1989, which only makes me feel worse about what I`ve done with the five extra years of life that I have on her. I don`t even think Deep Roy makes an appearance in this one.

Overall, a great film if that`s what you`re looking for. I would give the movie 4.9 out of 5 something`s, if you`re into such things as Johnny Depp doing what Johnny Depp does, and Tim Burton directing a film to make it dark and seemingly outside the mainstream like you would expect him to do. However, I`m done with both of them teaming up to do great things predictably great. Objectively, it`s probably one of the better films that will come out this year; but, I despised every second of the film and thus only award it 1 out of 5 something or others.