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Published:August 4th, 2009 17:46 EST
It's Gonna Change

It's Gonna Change

By Rouben Alikian

 Sometimes, we don`t understand why we do things, maybe it`s because whatever we do seems so much more than just an action but a duty that has to be fulfilled. There is an underlining of demand in our minds, a kind of layer of programming code that integrates into so many aspects of our daily lives through routine and just simple wishes, but every once in a while, that same line of biological code forces us to act in ways that we could never have imagined.

 It could be to save someone cared for from a vicious fire by that very instinct, or taking a bullet for someone you barely know yourself but feel that it is your duty to protect. And yet, there are other times when you just know you have to do something and it is out of your control to decide otherwise. Those are the moments that shape our characters more than anything as they are usually cataclysmic in our lives, and after such a moment, you will never feel the same again, for you will have realized where your allegiance truly lies.


 It is undeniable that no matter what course of action you take, be it self sacrifice or self preservation, the only person emerging victorious from those circumstances is you. If patriotism were a blind religion with practically no limits to the interpretation of the word itself, how many would follow it? Many, for I  am myself a patriot and blindly believe in the glory of my country no matter how much garbage it spews upon me.


 Patriotism is a sense that surpasses logic and even reason at some points, because you need a special breed of people to go up against impossible odds to protect something that demands your blood and your very soul to survive while giving almost nothing in return for your sacrifice.


 But, there are others who will run, who will hide and who will betray. It is those who shall never suffer the horrors of loss, death, agony, pain and torture, for they have already won by the mere act of running, by abandoning everything that others fight for and forsaking that which matters most to others, but not to themselves. They will run and they will live and that is their victory, nothing more, living, at least a while longer, while others fight and die for their sad excuse of a conviction.


 Living itself cannot be a conviction if it is not supported by something greater, a purpose, otherwise you are naught but a shell with no purpose, meaning, reason, allegiance or future, a walking shadow of yourself embalmed in the delusional conception that others exist to serve you. Try thinking that even you exist to serve others beyond those confines of the workplace, beyond temptation, beyond the call of duty, but in the field of loyalty to something greater than yourself, because there is no greater feeling than knowing that you are not just a lonely individual in the field, but you stand united with others for a cause that will bring the fruits of your labor, maybe not for you, but for the future generations who will never know your name and never recall how you worked for them.


 It is ironic, but it is the truth that future generations get only worse with the passage of time, forgetting what you fought for, embracing the thoughts of your very enemies and forgiving past conflicts. They say that one in a field is no warrior, and it is true. You may ask, how can I be sure that what I fight and live for will live longer than me? The answer is you cannot. There is no guarantee in anything you do, the only thing you can be sure of is that the risk you are taking is a game of dice with fate which it will always win in its own unpredictability and on its own sick terms that forges a frighteningly unforeseeable future.