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Published:July 2nd, 2010 21:15 EST

"The Pill Ruined Marriage"

By S. D.

So, a few days ago, a Facebook friend of mine posted this article, in which Raquel Welch claims, "the widespread use of oral contraceptives has led to a breakdown in sexual morality and fueled the growth of rampant promiscuity among the young" and in which she blames the pill for the decline of the institution of marriage.

Obviously, I had to comment on that particular post, and it led to a bit of a debate. I thought some of it, at least, was worth showing off here, so here are four (consecutive) comments that I thought were most interesting part of the entire discussion:

Me:
This woman is blaming a pill that essentially can control the number of children a woman has for the "decline of the institution of marriage." In short, her comments amount to "pill bad, sex with pregnancy as a consequence good." No one can keep it in their pants or honor a commitment? That`s not the fault of the Pill, that is simply human nature. It`s not like anyone actually believes that being on the Pill is an excuse for infidelity or whatever else.

Furthermore, saying that the use of birth control causes an unhealthy sexual lifestyle again implies, "pill bad, sex with pregnancy as a consequence good." Perhaps you didn`t directly mean "abstinence is the only way to go if you want to avoid having children," and I`m sorry if this assumption was incorrect. But if that is what you mean, then again, no, that is not a healthy sexual lifestyle.

What is a healthy sexual lifestyle? I obviously can`t dictate how many times a week a couple - or just a single person - should be having sex to achieve maximum happiness. However, I can say for a fact that adults who regularly have sex, especially with a committed partner, are far happier than those who don`t. It`s all because of the hormones being released - simple, really. And just because some people want to make their relationship the best one they can (which, of course, means having sex pretty darn often) doesn`t mean they should be popping out another child every nine months.

Dude:
pregnancy may be a consequence, but it`s a good one. I don`t understand why people have such a hard time understanding.

Have you ever heard of natural family planning? I`m not saying there`s a problem with having sex or that sex is bad. Far from it.

Why does one want to use the pill? Because they don`t want to have a child, and maybe even because they`re not willing to love a child with their partner.

The whole culture`s and past cultures` ideal of sex is not completely right.

The whole don`t have sex, sex is bad, old Christian ideal is wrong, but so was the sexual revolution and even now that just giving yourself completely to someone else even within a relationship so freely and lightly.

I have to disagree that just because people don`t have sex, they`re not as happy as people that do have sex, and that to make a relationship the best they can they have to have sex.

Honestly you don`t have to "be popping out another child every nine months" just because you have sex, and you don`t have to use the pill or any other contraceptives/abortive measures.
It`s called natural family planning and self control.

I can understand where you`re coming from, but I have to disagree :P hope you can see the other side of the coin

Me:
LOL. I don`t see why people have such a hard time understanding the fact that pregnancy is not a good consequence if you don`t want a child. Or, you know, a fifth child. Or a twentieth. Or whatever. And why is it such a problem if people don`t want children?

Natural family planning is still a form of birth control. It shouldn`t matter if you use something that has a higher success rate.

You`re welcome to your own opinion on whether the sexual revolution was a good thing or not. However, as far as couples who do or don`t have sex - no, it`s a fact that people in long-term relationships are much happier if they have regular sex than if they don`t. One of the leading causes of divorce nowadays is people unhappy with their sex lives. Sorry if you don`t like the facts, but there are scientific studies supporting my claim.

Again, natural "family planning" is a form of birth control. And as far as "self-control" is concerned - again, it`s ridiculous to want people to have sex only a few times in their lives if they only want a few children. You don`t have to use contraceptives if you don`t want to, and good luck with your 20+ children. But you can`t tell me or any other woman that we`re somehow "immoral" or that we don`t have "healthy sexual lifestyles" because we no longer want to follow the same repressive traditions. It`s not only insulting, but actually repulsive.

I can understand where you`re coming from too - a highly religious background. Try stepping out of your Bible and into the real world, because believe me, there`s a whole new coin out there to explore.

Btw - I realize this may be a few years yet, but when you`re married (since I assume you`re a "wait for marriage" type of guy) and (I hope) regularly having sex with your wife, we can talk about "self control" again. You can tell me all about how easy that is.

Dude:
haha we`ll see if i ever have sex and we`ll talk then XD. would be glad to :)

I think the debate on sex ultimately leads to the meaning of life.


That was pretty much it.


http://i.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01462/contraceptivePill_1462148c.jpg