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Published:August 11th, 2010 09:11 EST
JetBlue Flight Attendant Flips His Wig! Now He`s A Working Class Hero!

JetBlue Flight Attendant Flips His Wig! Now He`s A Working Class Hero!

By John G. Kays

An efficient and perfectly pleasant, JetBlue flight attendant attempts to reason with a belligerent, rule-breaking passenger, who is pulling down his baggage from an overhead bin, even before the plane has even docked. The luggage bops the flight attendant on the head and he snaps, cracks like a twig in an ice storm, turning BEANERS into King Tut. A mind-boggled Steven Slater grabs the closest microphone and lambasts the scallywag on the public-address system.

Somewhere in those split-seconds of temporary abandonment of rational mental faculties, Slater concocts an ending to the embroilment that would be the envy of any aspiring Hollywood screenwriter. Steven will literally leap out of the predicament and escape his career in the airline business. Kill two birds with one stone. Thus, he triggers the inflatable emergency escape chute and slip-slides into history, yet out of sight (from the corporeal world)!

The first image that came to my mind, was Slim Pickens riding the A-bomb in Dr. Strangelove. Slater loses it, but goes out in a blaze of glory. And he had enough forethought to remove his choking necktie, grab his own carry on, and toss it down the chute before he took the GRANDIOSE RIDE (literally and figuratively) himself. With regard to the beer, one account I`ve read has it as one beer, but others say two.

Granted, this is splitting hairs, but it`s important for the integrity and flow of the story. One beer seems much more wimpy than two beers. And when the movie comes out, I wouldn`t be surprised if it transforms into a six pack of Schlitz Malt Liquor Tall Boys. This will look more macho, but, at the same time, it may make Slater look like more of a Drunkard. Maybe the screenwriters should keep it at soda pop or bottled water.

But what can we make of the public turning Steven Slater into a national hero, an advocate of workers rights? Is he a modern symbol of those who will stand up against abuses in the workplace, of those who will say "enough is enough," I`m not going to take it anymore? The answer is a resounding YES! As the David Bowie song goes, "We could be heroes, just for one day."

His public chewing out of the passenger bully is a declaration or demand for RESPECT in the workplace. Now others all over the world will be chanting his MANTRA: "To the passenger who just called me a mother f***** f*** you. I`ve been in this business 28 years and I`ve had it."

My newest theory now is that Slater didn`t suddenly snap, this was a slow build up of anxiety and frustrations; years of hassles and rows with pushy, pugnacious, liquored-up rattlesnakes banging flight attendants around, using them as WHIPPING POSTS, as the Allman Brothers` song goes.

A witness to the imbroglio, Phil Catelinet, commented on CNN`s American Morning about Slater`s disposition after the unusual incident. "He had flung his tie off...`I quit my job. I`m done with this.` And he was happy. It wasn`t like he was mad. He seemed relieved and excited that this career was, you know, taking a new turn."

I noticed his happiness also when watching him approach the paddy wagon for a ride down to the police station for booking. This is odd? Usually when one is carted off to the SLAMMER, a great whiff of consternation and doomsday depression will sweep over the dude or chick that has been arrested. This lets you know just how bad these working conditions at JetBlue actually were.

Time in jail will seem like a Caribbean vacation for poor Steven, and a baloney sandwich may be more tasty than the grimy grub he has served on an AIRBOAT FROM HELL! "Happiness or misery is relative," as Einstein use to say. Or was that one of THE THREE STOOGES?

Is Steven Slater the next Jimmy Hoffa? Is he perhaps the next Karl Marx? Workers of the World Unite! That would function as a catchy mantra for Slater, don`t you think? And I doubt whether Slater will become the next big Teamsters Boss.

But with social media spreading his message like wildfire: "I`M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!, the workplace could change overnight and could take on an amiable, fair and respectful demeanor the world over. A dejected lone soul who was broken of the will to obey slip-slides his way down an emergency escape chute into LABOR-RELATIONS-IMMORTALITY. No wonder he was smiling.