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Published:February 21st, 2009 13:50 EST
Did Google Ocean Discover Atlantis?

Did Google Ocean Discover Atlantis?

By Robert Paul Reyes

Google Street View captured an Australian man passed out drunk in front of his house, Google Earth discovered a pristine forest in Mozambique, and the Google search engine can be used to find dirt on your old high school pals and ex-girlfriends. But has Google Ocean discovered the Lost City of Atlantis?

Yesterday, I heard a news tease on Fox News: Google Ocean discovers Lost City of Atlantis, stay tuned for this incredible story after a short commercial break. I was on my way out the door, and I didn`t have time to wait for the story. On my way to work I contemplated the significance of this discovery, and I came to the conclusion that I hoped it was a prank.

Atlantis will never be found by an archeologist wearing a Fedora hat, if it`s ever discovered it will be by the omnipotent and omniscient Google.

But I hope archaeologists will never discover the Lost City of Atlantis; I pray that adventurers will never capture the Abominable Snowman, and I hope that Lochness Monster will never be trapped.

If the Abominable Snowman is apprehended in less than a month we will be sick and tired of him. Within a few days the beast will be doing commercials for Geico, and within a month he will have his own reality show. And if Atlantis is discovered within a few years it will become an underwater amusement park, complete with a Trump Atlantis Tower.

Fortunately, as it turns out Google Ocean did not discover the fabled city of Atlantis:

"The Lost City of Atlantis is still lost - despite hopes that Google Earth had located the fabled city on the floor of the Atlantic Ocean.

Observers noted what seemed to be a grid of streets and the outlines of a big city on the sea floor about 960km (600 miles) off the African coast.

But Google said the lines represented sonar data collected from boats."

Atlantis can remain pristine in our imaginations, and it is free from the likes of Donald Trump. May the lost city of Atlantis remain forever undetected and undiscovered underwater.