May 6th, 2009 09:25 EST
I reached a milestone today. It`s a landmark that happens only once in person`s life, if they are lucky enough. Today, I turn the big four zero, although, in many ways, I still feel like a kid.
If you would have asked me ten years ago where I would be on my 40th birthday, there would be no way I could have answered. Hell, if you would have asked two years ago, I wouldn`t have believed it for a second. In the last two years, my father passed away, I`ve earned a nice promotion in my career and I have just released my first novel, available worldwide.
Nothing is the same. While all the stars in my life seem to be aligned, I can`t stop thinking about Dad. Shortly before he died, he was medicated beyond belief, when he said something that will stick in my head for the rest of my days. He said he was taking one for the team. I didn`t know what the hell he was talking about at the time; I thought he was just stoned out of his mind, but now, since all of my good fortune is taking place, I can`t help but think he sacrificed his life for me.
Some nights it makes me cry, like right now. I would gladly go back to my old life to have him back, but unfortunately, life does not work that way. I realize, he would never want me to hold on to the pain my whole life, and I suppose that is what`s pushing me further. I feel for anyone who has ever lost a loved one.
I have decided to aggressively chase my dreams, so dad`s death will not be in vein. I want to make him proud so I will do all I can to succeed, in his honor. The only way to do this is to work hard and have as much fun as possible. When I`m not thinking of dad, I usually do have fun. I`m living a dream for both of us. I don`t think I would ever want to live forever, but for now, I`m having a good time. Let`s hope I last another 40 years.
In the beginning, we were brought to this earth.
A so-called miracle we call human birth.
Where did we come from before we came here?
Another galaxy in a distant year?
What was it we left behind?
Were we physical beings or a state of mind?
What is our purpose and who can say why?
So many answers to learn when we die.
But before we find out, we must play a game.
I guess it`s called life, if the game had a name.
So we start from the start, which would have to be birth.
No decisions or choice; we`re just thrown on this earth.
As we get old, we all work to eat.
A wonderful life that just can`t be beat.
To work for a living will help us pretend,
That everything living won`t come to an end.
The forks in our road will all disappear,
Then we will die on the day we most fear.
The winner is time; it`s the end of the ride.
Death is invincible; there`s nowhere to hide.
What happens then? Where do we go?
Heaven or Hell? I really don`t know.
Do we start a new life or travel through space?
There`s one thing I`m sure of when it comes to our race.
We will not escape that eternal sleep,
Under the ground, six feet deep.
Your day will come, it`s human fait.
We`re all doomed for death; ENJOY THE WAIT!!!