Published:  May 15th, 2009 18:37 EST
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Silence: For those who have lived this and survived
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Silence  On his nineteenth birthday He sits in his bedroom High school is over now Flipping burgers pays enough to buy clothes And makes the payments on the car But he doesn`t see how he could pay for an apartment And he REALLY can`t see living here with his parents While he tries to go to college His best friend, James Planted the seed in his head a few months ago Money for school Free food Free rent A chance to travel A chance to be a MAN He gets up out of his bed Throws on some of his nicest clothes And three hours later Sits in an office taking his first set of tests One week later He takes the oath And is sworn in as a Marine Marine Corps recruit training is tough for him This is an understatement He realizes how out of shape his body really is But he`s not the only one Everything is laid out The drills The PT The combat water survival The confidence course The marksmanship and field training Each a different challenge Each makes him a bit stronger He makes it through the Crucible Ranked in the top of his class Before he realizes it, this part of training is over From boot to hat He is all Marine Iraq is his first deployment Twelve months away from home He has never been away from home that long Of course he`s never left the country before either This is what he`d signed up for Mentally and physically he was ready And maybe at this point He was The fighting isn`t the hardest part That is easy People shoot at you You shoot back Hopefully you have better guns and more of them Most of the time This is the case The seventy pounds of gear doesn`t make it easy And of course The heat makes it always worse But the fighting never seems to bother him The hours The moments in between always do Every face, every person is a potential enemy Even kids can leave IED`s at the side of the road He lost a friend of his last week that way He won`t be so careless Or so he hopes At the end of the eleventh month his body reaches its limit Long hours on patrol Less fighting Less engagements, though the threat is still there Less hours of sleep The nightmares come more often Night after night the same Voices screaming inside his head Still there`s only one more month One more month until twelve back at home Then the news comes Three months more to wait He packs it all inside He`s a Marine He does what he has to do and survives Analyze, improvise, and overcome This is his motto Like so many others He does his time The day finally comes As he gets on the plane to leave this place This Hell that has haunted him for so long He raises a finger in defiance Others behind him do the same Yes, they are all Marines He`s been home eleven months now Still the nightmares haunt his sleep Voices speak to him from empty rooms He often sleeps on the sofa Hoping not to wake his new wife He started therapy a month ago They can work through this the doctor assures him And of course the pills seem to help Most of the time It`s Monday He goes out to the porch for the mail The temperature seems to drop at least ten degrees When he sees it He shakes as he opens the letter He had heard this might be coming But he hoped since he was still under treatment It might not He goes inside and starts laying out his plans He deploys for the second tour the next week They told him his treatment would continue They promised him there would be plenty of pills Those ran out last month Still the nightmares torture his nights But now they continue even through the day He tells all of those who will listen Everything`s going to be fine " is always their answer When there is an answer at all His platoon walks into an ambush Snipers laid out on both flanks His friend next to him is hit in the shoulder And screams into his ear Blood splatters everywhere He stands up and with a soft voice Starts a final prayer He prays they are as good a shot as he is Seconds later his prayers are answered And finally he gets the one thing he has sought after And prayed for For so long Silence An ocean away Another Marine sits at home Alone in a dark room He hasn`t slept for seven days The voices in his head won`t stop talking Won`t stop screaming He finally drives himself to the hospital Lays everything out to the doctor With tears in his eyes The Marine begs for help After some quick tests And hours of waiting The doctor returns He tells him he needs rest And hands him a prescription to take home As he leave the room The doctor jots down a final note on his file Not a danger to self, or to others " Hours later the Marine finally stops his car The police have been chasing him for five miles Ninety miles and hour the wrong way on the highway He steps out of the vehicle Slowly lowers himself to his knees Raises his hands above his head And begs the officers to either cuff him or shoot him Before he can hurt any of them He begs them for the one thing he can not find Silence Written for those who have lived this and survived and in remembrance for those who did not. Through my tears I will bleed words for you hoping that through them others will come to understand.
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