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Published:January 15th, 2007 13:30 EST
New Airport Xray! - We See Through Your Scheme.

New Airport Xray! - We See Through Your Scheme.

By Will Roberts

Now all I know is what little I read on the Internet. I am on the road this week to Reno, NV.  As I travel, I get messages from my phone about the latest stories via, of course "The internet".  The headlines today "New Airport Security Measures" a full body x-ray machine that x-rays the whole body." It is called a viral strip search. 

Do you remember the old glasses we bought as a kid that allowed us to see through folk's clothes? X-ray specs. Well this is the same thing, but at bit pricey - $200,000 a machine. Anyhow, it seems that this thing would be able to get a glimpse of you in less than you want to see yourself in a matter of seconds; revealing any and all suspicious items.

This thing has the ability to see everything, so they, upon request will be blurring out certain areas. How they could do that consistently, I do not know. My suggestion is to follow someone your own height OR they might be blurring your eyes and your knees ladies.

I suspect you passed if you walk through and they wink at you or fail if they laugh. This may just be the thing that stops air travel. Air travel by itself can humble even the most veteran flyer with a lost suitcase or a late flight.  Full body cavity searches may be the straw that breaks the camels back.  Now it's called a backcather but it is the front we are worried about.

Word has it that IF you don't want to have this done to you, you have a choice; you can do the customary pat down search. With this much technology and security, Houdini would have not been the escape artist he was.

My plan: Show up in your birthday suit.  That way it will save time in the lines and after you get through the gate, they can give you an outfit that is like the ones we make our kids wear to school these days to separate them from gang members.

Maybe the airports can team up with the medical world and offer a package… X-ray for hazards or precious metals. Oh, by the way, they also have a foot version at about the same price for all you folks that don't want to take off your shoes. It will cost you about $100 dollars a year for this service and you have to have a background check.  My suggestion on this one is . . . spend the money on a few pairs of clean socks and throw in a few pair of underwear in a case you have to go to the hospital.

Will Roberts
"The Good Will Tour"
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"All I Know Is What Little I Read On The Internet!"
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