Contact theSOPAbout theSOPSupport theSOPWritersEditorsManaging Editors
theSOP logo
Published:March 1st, 2007 05:41 EST
A Crackpot's Potshot at the U.S. War Plan in Iraq

A Crackpot's Potshot at the U.S. War Plan in Iraq

By Will Roberts

Well here it is! The Republicans had a chance and the Democrats had a chance. Anyone with a semblance of a plan could pretty much take a shot at it. So, here's my plan.

This crackpot is taking a potshot at a war plan. Now, as I have said before, I take no responsibility if this plan does not work. Rather, blame your local or state politicians, because they’re use to it.  I’m just giving my 2 cents and I will not spend a cent more on this plan.  There has been enough spending on this war already. However, before I start, I will give you a breakdown on how those 2 cents will be spent:

A penny for your thoughts and a penny tossed in the nearest pond with a wish for a speedy return home of our troops.  Any other option on that last penny would be a coin toss: Heads we stay, Tails we come home. (A note to both parties: Mathematical analysis shows that in a typical coin toss, a coin is more likely to land on the same face it started on, so place that coin carefully before the flip if you want to stay your course).

The war plan I have will have to be renamed because it will be so successful that the word “WAR” will be non-existent. I have been pondering this plan for some time, so I can understand how our President has been stressing over what decisions to make.  

The Plan:

This plan makes all other plans look like Plan B.  It’s clear to me that the biggest problem is that if we leave Iraq, we leave behind the Hatfield’s and the McCoy’s; an endless feuding over whose land is whose just as the conflict that has been ongoing in the Palestinian occupied territories since the late 1940s.

My “Get out of Dodge Plan” will be implemented in a couple of different phases.

Phase 1:
Move all of the citizens out of the Iraqi cities and relocate them to Florida or New Orleans – hurricanes and floods have to be easier to dodge than IED’s, and at least you get more of a warning.  Then, keep them there until we figure this all out. 

However, the only downfall is that if they need help in the USA, then it may take our government a year or so to respond – seems our foreign response is much quicker than our domestic response.

Phase 2:
Move the troops out of that area. Start with the 65% of the troops that do not wish to be there and then follow-up with the 35% of the military members that approve of the way President Bush is handling the War.

Well now anyhow, that just leaves the bad guys and they’ll leave soon enough because there will be no “good” to counter the “bad.”

Once the place is cleared out, let’s clean it up. Take a FEW billion and gut the place, plant a few trees and clear a few mines. I believe that if this Plan is done right, it should prove to work out just fine. Meanwhile, we can show the Iraqi folks a little Southern hospitality.

Now, for the folks at home that do not like the part of my Plan that brings the Iraqi citizens to our neck of the woods, then I am open for suggestions. I guess we could try Canada.  They welcome everyone.  

Well, that is it in a bombshell!



Will Roberts
"The Good Will Tour"  
1-866-381-Will (9455)
Direct# 310-228-7105
Fax# 800-844-4259