Contact theSOPAbout theSOPSupport theSOPWritersEditorsManaging Editors
theSOP logo
Published:June 22nd, 2007 11:18 EST
There Ain't No ~ In San Hose, Mate!

There Ain't No ~ In San Hose, Mate!

By John Lillpop

Living here in San Hose, California can cause a serious challenge to one's sanity, especially to those of us determined to preserve American history, culture, and language.

Of course, liberals scoff at the notion that good old-fashioned American values are worth preserving. In the mind of the average liberal, America is great only because of random luck or serendipity, and not because of cultural excellence.

This explains why liberals are so desperate to push multiculturalism, bilingual education, and diversity down the throats of the American people. Leftists simply do not believe in the inherent superiority of our values and way of life.

But American culture is why America is number 1 in technology, innovation, education, standard of living, religious freedom, war making capability, and fast food efficiency.

Granted, multiculturalism and other socialist double talk may be of value to those raised in lesser cultures.

But when you are as good as we are, you don't need no stinkin' diversity!

Yet every once in a while, a cultural misfit crashes the scene and imposes some arcane tradition on what is otherwise the most enlightened and sophisticated culture in recorded human history.

Such is the case with the ~.

Because of the influx of illegal aliens, that damned ~ is cropping up everywhere here in San Hose.

San Jose~ Welfare Services, San Jose~ Center for Identity Fraud, San Jose~ ACLU, and other services intended for illegal aliens are identified with the ~ marking. It’s ~ this, and ~ that!, everywhere!

But the ~ trend is very denigrating to American culture, and is an insult to gringos and crackers everywhere.

As one who seldom accepts anything at face value, I recently decided to fight back against the ~ atrocity.

I did so by changing all of my personal stationery, checks, return address labels, e-mail accounts, and bank records so that my address is listed as: San Hose, California.

When asked about the bastardized spelling by banks and retailers, I simply grin and reply, "There ain't no ~ in Hose, Mate!"

John W. Lillpop, San Hose, CA