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Published:July 5th, 2007 06:50 EST
Pardon Me, President Clinton, I have Fallen and Can't Get Up

Pardon Me, President Clinton, I have Fallen and Can't Get Up

By John Lillpop




Satire

Chutzpah is defined as unbelievable gall, insolence, and audacity.

A more perfect word has not yet been devised to describe former President Bill Clinton and his tag partner with the "as needed" hillbilly accent, the redoubtable Hillary Rodham.

That would be the former first couple, commonly known in conservative circles as Slick and Slicker.

Slick and Slicker were in Iowa campaigning for yet another four years of fraud, neutering of the U.S. military, deceit, and kinky sexual escapades in the Oval Office when Slick decided to unload on President Bush over the Scooter Libby commutation.

New York Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/04/us/politics/04clintons.html

Mind you, this same bloke was auctioning off pardons from the War Room in the White House until the very last moments before the swearing in ceremony for President-elect Bush on January 20, 2001.

That would be the same Slick who set a Guinness Book record for the most felons, thugs, and liberal cronies pardoned in any twenty-four hour period immediately preceding a change in administrations, while simultaneously engaged in sex with "that woman," a chunky intern with the initials ML tattooed on her forehead.

Does the name Marc Rich ring a bell, Bill?

You know, Marc Rich, the fellow who had been charged with evading tens of millions of dollars in taxes, and who was the former husband of a top donor to Democrats and Slicker's first Senate campaign?

Overall, in the last hours of his presidency, Slick pardoned about 150 disadvantaged untouchables that needed but a helping hand to overcome abuses heaped upon them by an unfair justice system.

In a sick sort of way, Slick provided an invaluable public service by ministering to those helpless souls.

In exchange, while signing pardon documents, Slick was briefly interrupted from acting out on his sex addiction, providing therapy for the thug, and freedom for the fellow thugs upon whom he was bestowing mercy.

Moreover, where was Slicker Clinton while Slick was doing work even the Holy Pope would not do?

Hillary Rodham Clinton, the woman who would love to be the 44th President of the United States, was working 24/7 loading a U-Haul trailer with china, paintings, furniture, and other booty nicked from the White House in the early morning hours of January 20, 2001.

Which, by the way, is the real reason why Slick and Slicker want so desperately to retake the White House:

Since January 21, 2001, the rocky Clinton marriage has resulted in dozens of pieces of beautiful china being thrown at Slick, missing the intended target, and being smashed into thousands of pieces of useless trash.

Slick and Slicker are seeking the White House in order to replenish their stolen china inventory!