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Published:July 11th, 2007 01:23 EST
Time to End the Spanish Imposition

Time to End the Spanish Imposition

By John Lillpop


During the Spanish Inquisition, Jews, near Jews, closet Jews, those friendly to Jews, and those suspected of being friendly to Jews were subjected to harrowing episodes of intolerance and misery unequaled in history.

Until now, that is.

We the people have been hoodwinked by a coalition of civil rights scam artists, third world freeloaders, ACLU lawyers, liberal politicians, leftist educators, confused Catholics, and Marxist librarians working 24/7 to create a United States of Babel by eradicating the English language from our land.

The technical name for this travesty is the Spanish Imposition and it is evident everywhere.

One sees and hears Spanish imposed on an unwilling public at Sears and Target stores, fast food eateries, cemeteries, libraries, outlets for dispensing social services, banks, car washes, and all other public locations were two or more illegal aliens are likely to assemble. That means everywhere!

The Spanish Imposition has found its way to voting ballots, and the presidential campaigns. Christopher Dodd and Bill Richardson, Democrat presidential candidates without a single clue between them, are even going to debate in Spanish just to prove that they are capable of delivering bilingual lies.

Things have gotten so crazy in Los Angeles that the Mexican national anthem is played before every game at Dodgers Stadium, otherwise known by liberals and illegal aliens as Chavez ravine.

Of course the Dodgers also play the Star Spangled Banner, provided someone remembers to remind the event coordinator. It is rumored that the Dodgers even arrange for the anthem to be performed in English on especially patriotic holidays like Memorial Day and Independence Day; however, that detail cannot be confirmed.

Those who speak English only are at a distinct disadvantage while trying to transact any of the following business in California:

() Receive medical care at an emergency room;

( ) Order a meal from a restaurant-- fast food or higher end;

( ) Arrange landscaping or gardening services;

( ) Seek social services from a local, state, or federal agency;

( ) Have ones home cleaned;

( ) Get ones car washed; or

( ) Attempt to communicate with garbage men, cable installers, handymen, roofers, and ICE employees.

Communications between English only and Spanish only speakers can be chaotic, confusing, and outrageously funny as the following dialogue from the 1975 British Comedy, Fawlty Towers, demonstrates.

AR is Alice Richards, an elderly English woman with an acute hearing problem and absolutely no Spanish language skills, while M is Manuel, a low-level hotel worker from Spain who speaks perfect Spanish, but whose English skills are minimal at best.

AR is trying to check in at the Fawlty Towers hotel and has been turned over to Manuel for processing.

AR: Now, I asked for a first class room with a bath and a sea view. I specifically asked for a sea view in my written confirmation, so please make sure I have it.

M: Que?

AR: What?

M: Que?

AR: K?

M: Si!

AR: See?

M: Nodding enthusiastically.

AR: K see? K see? What are you trying to say?

M: No, no, no! Que, what!

AR: K what?

M: Si! Que what!

AR: CK What?

M: Yes!

AR: Who is CK What?

M: Que?

On and on it goes. Suffice it to say, Manuel was unable to help Alice Richards and she made it to her room only after being rescued by an English speaking hotel clerk.

Although the Fawlty Towers episode is very funny, real life confrontations between English and Spanish speakers is all too serious and frustrating to both sides.

Although I firmly believe that English should be the official language of the United States, I do not agree with some of my eccentric right wing friends who would make speaking Spanish in public a felony.

As a compassionate conservative, I believe that those guilty of a first offense should be charged with a misdemeanor. However, those caught speaking Spanish a second time should be arrested on felony charges, held without bail, and deported as soon as possible!