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Published:December 8th, 2007 09:45 EST
If Civil War Broke Out between Hill and Bill, Whom Would Secret Service Protect?

If Civil War Broke Out between Hill and Bill, Whom Would Secret Service Protect?

By John Lillpop

Satire

If, perish the thought, Hillary Clinton is elected president of these here United States of America AND does not divorce Slick Willie before January 20, 2009, America will be forced to confront several unprecedented dilemmas.

To begin with, Slick would be the first former president to re-occupy the White House, full time, as a member of the first family, even if he were to do so by skating in on the skirt of Hillary.

For her part, Hillary would be the first lying president to sleep with a former president in the White House.

The Hill and Bill Act, should it come to pass, would present the Secret Service with sticky issues as well.

Say, for instance, Hill catches Bill in a replay of his sexual acting out in that little back room off the Oval Office-- a little dalliance with one of Hill's straight staffers, or a wayward intern in a blue dress, perhaps?

And say Hill decides to vent by hurling a five-pound ashtray at Slick's adulterous head, just like the good old days from 1993-2000.

Back then, there was no doubt whom the Secret Service would protect: Slick was the president, while Hillary was no better than an aging tart who would not be permitted to harm America's perverted CEO.

But what if Hill becomes the top dog, and Slick decides to retaliate with an ashtray fling of his own?

Remember, as a former president, Slick is still guarded by the Secret Service. So, should a civil war break out between the Clintons, who would the brave Secret Service agents protect with their very lives: Hill or Bill?

Slick tried to defuse similar concerns recently by stating that, should the Hillary Insurgency prevail, he would attend Hillary cabinet meetings "only if asked."

ABC News: http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/story?id=3947594


What he did not say is that he, Slick, would ask himself and accept the invitation on his own behalf. You see, it all depends how one defines "ask."

And of course, the other unspoken reality is that Hill would certainly insist that Slick be in those cabinet meetings where she could keep the philandering hillbilly on a tight leash.

After all, Hillary may be a lying socialist with the morals of an Arkansas alley cat, but she is not stupid!