January 17th, 2008 08:56 EST
Recession or a Year of Jubilee? Small Change Cannot Cure Crisis
Yesterday, President George W. Bush returned from pow-wowing with the Saudis. No doubt, he was a good boy; bowing and scraping in that endearing, good-old-boy way he has. President Bush is best at suck-up and negotiation, in my opinion. Rumor has it he agreed to give away half of Jerusalem, we’ll see.
As evidence of his triumph, notice his pockets bulging with Saudi money. Witness his smirk-ish smile of security having scored scores of Sovereign Wealth Funds. (SWF) Mr. President is now itching to make a deal and play nice with an economic stimulus package. Whew, just in the nick of time ticking toward recession: Change!
Madam Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, and Federal Reserve Board Chairman, Ben Bernanke, are also squirming in their seats. They met Monday to chew around some Change Concepts. If the past prevailed, they discussed the high costs of energy and oil, the high cost of health care, the sub-prime mortgage crisis, the high cost of milk, bread and butter. Together they maintained and reaffirmed that 66% of the American economy is directly tied to consumer spending. They perfectly itemized the problems; we’re all good at that. Likely, however, solutions are as scarce as States(wo)men.PROBLEM: We cannot spend ourselves into prosperity regardless of tax and/or spending cuts. We can only go more deeply in debt, dears.
SOLUTION: President Bush, I beseech you, declare 2007 the Year of Jubilee in keeping with our Judeo-Christian heritage-- and reap the reward of passing the Oval Office to the next generation of Republicans.
Taking our que from Citigroup, we can name this bold declaration the “People’s Recapitalization Plan.”
Here’s how your 3-point plan can easily unfold:
1. Fed Chairman Ben calls-in all M1, include every form of US currency. No questions asked; however, by Midnight, April 15, 2008, if the currency has not been deposited and accounted for, it will no longer be money. Sorry.
2. Immediately convert the US Economy into an all-electronic-funds-transfer economy. The entire operation can be outsourced to MasterCard, American Express and Visa. If a person needs a debit card, one will be provided for him. Combine this effort with the requirements of the Real ID Act of 2005-- kill two non-documented workers with one transaction, so to speak.
3. All debts currently owed by an American citizen are forgiven. Now, Mr. President, this is the key to the success of the People’s Recapitalization Plan. If we adopt the premise that consumer spending is crucial to world trade and economic growth, you can immediately issue this proclamation:
I, President George W. Bush, in keeping with the American Judeo-Christian heritage, do hereby proclaim 2007 a Year of Jubilee. Accordingly, all American citizens are hereby pardoned of all financial debt, secured and unsecured. Whatever local, state or federal taxes, interest and penalties are forgiven. All property liens or consumer loans, private or public, are forgiven. Go and spend no more; well, spend wisely.
Frankly, Mr. President, this may possibly be the only road to economic recovery. Young people will again buy homes, clothes, toys and Toyotas. Teeth will be repaired; dentures purchased; eye glasses acquired. Shopping will commence.By Resurrection Morning, the whole of the American public will praise the president’s name. Imagine the goods and services that will be purchased around the world. If Citigroup and Countrywide get a fresh start, surely the American people deserve one Jubilee in their lifetime.
Mr. President, declare 2007 a Year of Jubilee and, by so doing, tell everyone, “Just keep the Change.” This will be much less painful than dividing Jerusalem.
I’m Nancy Lee Wolfe and I approve this message.