January 28th, 2008 06:47 EST
The Clinton Legacy: Hillaryous
On the one hand, a comical mix of JFK and Elvis; on the other, RFK and Eleanor Roosevelt, Bill and Hillary have given us much to remember. What SC remembers most is the absurdly ridiculous comedy of characters who aggressively debated whether or not character is important. Hillaryous.
The SC primary was a spectacular spectacle through which the electorate found themselves strolling down dusty, old county roads remembering the two-for-the-price-of-one Clinton Administration. Rehashing the Gospel according to Bill was painful on countless levels. However, in the tradition of the suffering South, they let their votes do their talking. Bless his heart, Bill can’t help it. He was born with a pink poker chip in his mouth.
What SC remembers is the cultural assault the Clintons waged on America. Not long after Hillary Clinton Rodham Clinton insisted she wasn’t a Tammy Wynette-type just standin’ by her man, she ignited the Right-Wing Conspiracy paranoia that she claimed concocted such lies. National debate teetered around boxers vs. briefs; and, inevitably, Bimbo entered the political lexicon and young people nationwide weighed in on whether oral sex is sex.
The Clintons have seemingly reversed roles. Bill, while stumping in SC for his second Whitehouse office, credited Hillary with everything from the Peace David Accords to Green Peace. If you believe Hillary, Bill just got carried away because he loves her and he believes “in his heart” that she is the best candidate to take control of the country.
Bill freely admits he cannot make Hillary taller or younger or black, even. But, he assured voters that she does feel their pain and that she is ready to take charge of everything and everyone on day one. Hillaryous.
Perhaps among the more comically tragic recollections of the Clinton Legacy is how their Administration was constantly swirling in sleaze and suspicion-- Vince Foster, Monica, Dick Morris, impeachment. South Carolinians suffered greatly in order for Hillary to earn her tough, suffering-spouse stripes. Clearly, SC shouted, “Never again!”
Short of wrapping himself in the Rebel Flag and marching to Columbia, Bill hit every mark he could to stir up manure. Now cast as the attack dog, he finds himself chasing a run-away train. One thing they know in SC that the Clintons forget, bless their hearts, when you throw, mud-- red or black-- expect to get dirty.
Finally, Sugar, if you doubt the depth of SC remembrance, consult US Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC). He remembers well, no doubt, the flavor of the good old Clinton days. One word of caution, however, if you manage face time with Senator Graham, under no circumstances do you bite your lower lip, OK? Hillaryous.
I’m Nancy Lee Wolfe and I approve this message.