March 3rd, 2008 11:30 EST
Democrats working? Oh, no! Not that!
Liberal Democrats were very busy last week conducting the people's business. In the Senate, our dedicated public servants spent the week debating a plan by Sen. Russ Feingold to begin withdrawing troops from Iraq by July. Alas, the plan was a few votes short. After failing to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (Democrat) passionately vowed "The antiwar fight will continue."
Meanwhile, in Iraq, several positive indicators show the tide may have turned. Due to the success of the surge, violence is down a whopping 80%. The Iraqi government is finally stepping up, having passed several key pieces of legislation recently. I believe this is called 'political progress'. Maliki stated that Iraq has achieved stability and overcome sectarian strife. Good news, indeed.
'The people' the Democrats claim to represent were briefly in the news, as Gunnery Sgt. William Gibson, a dedicated Marine, returned to Iraq for a second tour. This, after having his leg amputated above the knee. Sgt. Gibson is but one of thousands of patriotic American heroes who have voluntarily decided to sign up for multiple tours in Iraq. Even a 26 year-old member of the Washington National Guard said he will be signing up for his third tour, this, right after he won a million dollar jackpot. True Americans.
On the economic front, news came that our economy has slowed to a crawl. Not ones to be deterred by reality, House Democrats responded by approving $18B in new taxes on oil companies. Oh, and Barney Frank did his part by working hard on a plan that would allow the government to buy homes whose values had dropped below the cost of the mortgage. No reason homeowners who bit off more mortgage debt than they could swallow should suffer the consequences.
In other news, as the US deployed warships to the Mediterranean due to mounting tensions in Lebanon, Congress was hard at work debating whether to follow the lead of 5 states and issue a formal apology for slavery. Oh, and those wacky Dems also managed to find $10 billion in extra money (our tax dollars) in a last ditch effort to save the farm bill. (For those of you who are government-school educated, this means paying people not to work.)
Back in the Senate, Speaker Nancy Pelosi was busy taking a principled stand by demanding, once again, a grand jury investigation into whether White House Chief of Staff, John Bolten, and former counsel, Harriet Miers should be prosecuted for contempt of Congress. Alas, Attorney General Mukasey declined, stating no violation of the law had occurred.
Nancy's week wasn't a complete loss, however. She and her fellow Dems were able to hand a nice gift to terrorists by delaying a vote on a wiretapping bill (FISA), thus allowing terrorists free and unfettered communications to plot our demise. Big smiles all around.
Meanwhile, one of those people Nancy represents, a special forces hero, gave his life in a daring bid to save 15 comrades after they were cornered by seventy Taliban gunmen. There was very little media coverage of this, possibly to cover the fact that everyday Americans are the heroes, not the politicos.
Also in the news: An undercover investigation showed that 3 of 4 Islamic mosques in the US are preaching anti-Western hate. We also found that thousands of illegal aliens are still in American flight schools. Alas, the FBI was too busy doing the people's business to give more than passing notice to that news. They had their hands full opening an investigation into whether or not Roger Clemmons lied to Congress when he denied taking steroids.
Based on the dedication, sacrifice and determination being exhibited by our democratic public servants, they think it is only fair that they have free reign to run the world. They have shown how sensitive and caring they are. They have promised that the war will magically end if they are returned to the Oval Office. They have promised to shield not only our feelings from nasty hate-mongers, but our pocketbooks from the consequences of our economic decisions.
With the Dems in power, we will never have to worry about anything, ever again. That's what government is for. Our public servants will handle everything, leaving us to focus on ourselves. We will achieve utopia and live happily ever after. Vote Democrat.
She lives in South Carolina.