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Published:March 18th, 2008 07:58 EST

A Slob Offers Some Fashion Tips For Hillary Clinton

By Robert Paul Reyes

I was browsing Google News and I saw an article by Hadley Freeman entitled "Why does Hillary Clinton wear such bad clothes?" I've picked apart Hillary's policies, personality and peccadilloes; why shouldn't I take a cue from Hadley and write an essay about Hillary's atrocious lack of style?

To those who argue that it's sexist to criticize Hillary's personal appearance, I respond that Mitt Romney was pilloried for always looking like a CEO and John Edwards was savaged for his expensive haircuts.

I'm no fashionista, you can usually find me lounging around in a ratty pair of blue jeans and a faded T-Shirt, but Hillary's fashion sense is enough to drive anyone bonkers.

Everything about Hillary is calculated; I wouldn't be surprised if she schedules and times her bathroom breaks: #1. 1 minutes and 20 seconds. # 2 3 minutes and 12 seconds.

So why does Hillary Clinton sport such a dowdy appearance? She's a millionaire who has the means to shop in the priciest boutiques, and she can also afford a personal fashion guru.

Hillary must be under the delusion that her pantsuit attire makes her look "presidential", that would only be true if she was running for the presidency of NOW.

Hillary's look can most charitably be described as "Butch Light"; must she wear a pantsuit every doggone day of her life? Nobody in his right mind would question Hillary's strength and resolve; she doesn't always have to dress so manly.

If Hillary wore a skirt or a dress on occasion, we wouldn't question her ability to be commander-in-chief. She's already proven that she is one tough lady; a touch of femininity wouldn't hurt.

I wouldn't vote for Hillary if she dressed like a model, but maybe if she didn't look so dowdy I wouldn't change the channel as soon as I saw her godforsaken pantsuit