May 26th, 2008 15:07 EST
Hillary Clinton Is The Pinata Of The World Of Politics
Pundits, reporters, the Democratic establishment, and everybody else with at least room temperature IQ knows that Sen. Barack Obama has secured the Democratic presidential nomination.
Only Hillary Clinton believes she's still a viable candidate; she continues her Quixotic quest with her painted-on smile and her luggage full of pantsuits. It's Hillary's turn to rule, by God, and eventhough she's hopelessly behind in every metric (pledged delegates, superdelegates, popular vote, most states won), karma will cooperate if need be, and kill Obama by means of an assassin.
At every campaign stop Hillary is met by an adoring throng of white middle-aged ladies who will stick with their Queen come hell, high water or reality. These ageing women are persuaded that Hillary is their last chance to see a woman capture the White House before they kick the bucket. These old birds are full of p*** and vinegar and they unload on men and women who have the temerity to vote for a candidate other than their feminist hero.
Hillary achieved her exalted position by clinging to the DNA-stained coattails of her husband -- she's no feminist icon. If Hillary's last name wasn't "Clinton" she'd be working for a law firm defending white collar criminals, and whiling away her free time in bars making fun of blue-collar yokels.
Hillary Clinton is the pinata of politics, she's such a despicable creature that nobody bats an eye when she's ridiculed, criticized or condemned. This is not a perfect analogy, a pinata is a brightly-colored paper container filled with sweets and/or toys and Hillary is a dour and bitter woman filled with arrogance, spite, jealousy and all manner of evil.
A pinata does nothing to deserve it's horrible fate, we can't help but feel a tinge of sorrow when we see its shattered remains. But Hillary is so evil that most folks figure she had it coming when pundits and comics tear her apart.
Hillary's days in the national spotlight are numbered, soon even she will accept reality and quit the race. What a horrible prospect, we need a pinata that we can beat without feeling guilt or facing the reproach of others.
Even when I criticize a clueless bimbo like Paris Hilton, I get nasty emails from her fans. But when I mock Hillary I get nothing but letters of support and encouragement.
Hillary please don't drop out of the race, a legion of pundits, reporters, comics and regular folks need you. You are our beloved pinata and we want to continue beating on you until there's nothing left