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Published:November 19th, 2009 19:44 EST
We Are the Control

We Are the Control

By Clayton S. Jeppsen

We Are the Control


What is a control within the structure of an experiment? That`s a great question, right. Control is, without doubt, something Hollywood has failed to produce on the big screens, whether it be infusing Hugh Jackman`s bones with a titanium bond to create a superhuman wolverine, or whether Keifer Sutherland`s body could actually stand the blast of a neutron bomb from only feet away. Hollywood runs riveting, stomach turning experiments with absolutely no control, and it always works the first time. Control is too quiet for Hollywood. In a sense, they run their controlled placebo affect on you and me. Do you notice that every movie begins with a warning to the audience to remain silent during the movie? Our lives are the controlled portion of their experiment. We are the norm. We are the untouched. We are the uncontaminated.


When an experiment is conducted in the world of science, control is the sheet that remains white, or the slate that remains clean. It is the portion of the experiment that maintains it`s normal existence; the portion the scientist is not experimenting on. It is used to measure the effects of the uncontrolled. For example, if I wanted to learn more about the way dietary protein affects like canines, I could double the amount of protein in the first canine, strip all protein from the diet of the second and continue the regular diet with the third canine. The third canine would be the control of this experiment, the standard against which the others are evaluated. Control is the axis of an experiment. The experiment is the technical work of the testing process, and the testing process is the make or break " stage of how science is studied. It holds more weight than the observation, the question, the hypothesis or the prediction.


When an experiment is conducted in Washington things are differnet. In our Nation today, it appears that the current administration is conducting experiments of it`s own on us. Washington seems to think our children and grandchildren have beedy little eyes and bare wispy tails. The money that is spent on Global Warming, Cap and Tax, Government-run Health Care, promoting illegal immigration, bailing out failing businesses and financing left wing projects, will definately run it`s experimental side-effects on our posterity. Have fun Washington, I hope you get the supernatural effects and cool mutations your looking for.   


We`ll give Hollywood a pass. Next time I take my family to the movies we will ooh and ahh over the fascinating metamorphisms and discoveries, while graciously representing what real life is all about. But next time we are at the ballot box, I hope you all understand, We are the norm. We are the control. Put Colonialists, Constitutionalists and Conservatives back in the White House.