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Published:June 26th, 2010 12:40 EST
al gore

Freaky Al Gore A National Joke: Global Warming Out Of Control In His Drawers

By Robert Paul Reyes

Al Gore has the charisma and allure of a dead rat that`s been decomposing in your crawl space for a couple of weeks. You are too disgusted to approach close enough to dispose of the bloody thing.
al gore
 
At parties everyone is afraid to come anywhere near Al Gore, fearing that he will corral them and talk his fool head off about global warming.
 
Al Gore is the ultimate policy wonk, he can cite statistics about global warming and geopolitics at the drop of a hat. We imagined Gore as an asexual bore whose idea of sexual experimentation meant that once a year he would try a position other than the missionary position.
 
But  America has discovered that Gore is a freak-a-leak who was cheating on his wife and allegedly groped a masseuse. The pitiful bore requested an "abdominal massage" from the masseuse, that`s probably the first time that phrase has been used.
 
Being seduced by Al Gore is a nauseating and surreal experience, in lieu of whispering sweet nothings he rattles on about climate change, and his idea of foreplay is to do the Macarena.
 
Al Gore was the real playa in the Clinton White House, Slick Willy probably got his leftovers.
 
Now we know that the "lockbox" that Gore mentioned a zillion times in his debates and speeches was a euphemism for vagina.
 
Al Gore needs to shut the hell up about global warming, and focus on the warming that`s out of control in his pants.
 
 

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