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Published:July 5th, 2010 11:20 EST
sarah palin

Sarah Palin Is More Addictive Than Porn

By Robert Paul Reyes

Jack Hitt wrote an article for Harper`s Magazine with the catchy title "Is Sarah Palin Porn?" Sarah Palin is indeed porn!

sarah palinThis isn`t an analysis of Hitt`s essay, the title simply caught my attention

Similarities between Sarah Palin and porn:

PALIN AND PORN ARE ADDICTIVE

You can`t eat just one Lay`s potato chip, and you can`t watch just one porn clip. Palin`s admirers and detractors can`t get enough of the former beauty queen. Palin`s fans flock to her lectures, buy her books, and cheer her on as she bashes liberals on her Fox News TV appearances. Palin`s critics can`t stop themselves from ridiculing the hot conservative babe. I`ve written over a hundred articles mocking Palin, and I`m sure I`ll write hundreds more before Palin rides off into the sunset.

PALIN AND PORN SHARE A SLEAZE FACTOR

Thanks to the Internet porn is readily available and viewed by persons from all walks of life. But there`s still a stigma to viewing porn, Mom doesn`t tell her teen kids, "don`t disturb me I`m watching porn right now." Palin is hot and adorable, but I can`t forget that there were multiple ethic violations filed against her when she was governor of Alaska. Palin hasn`t managed to shed her sleaze factor, it follows her around like cheap perfume.

BROWSING PORN AND GOOGLING PALIN ARE DONE SURREPTITIOUSLY

I don`t let anyone know when I`m browsing porn, and I don`t let anyone know when I`m googling Palin. I would lose my reputation of being an intellectual giant if anyone saw me researching a dimwit like Palin.

PALIN AND PORN ARE HOT ENTERTAINMENT

Porn may not be highbrow entertainment, but it`s never boring. Palin may not know the difference between climate change and changing her baby`s diapers, but girlfriend is never boring.

PALIN AND PORN ARE ULTIMATELY UNFULFILLING

Watching porn is no substitute for having sex, it leaves you yearning for the real thing. I enjoy making fun of Palin, but at the end of the day I regret that I wasted bandwidth posting another Palin essay.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes