Published:March 31st, 2010 13:04 EST

John's Daily Dump: Obama Hater Wrecks Obama Supporter, Octomom Doing Porn?

...This is John Danz Jr. with John`s Daily Dump on theSOP.org, bringing you your daily dose of off the wall news. Today`s stories:  Man wrecks another man for liking Obama, woman steals breast implants, man craps in what he thinks is his girlfriend`s car, John`s Daily Dumbass, and a special commentary on the OctoMom.

 A 70-year-old Nashville man was accused of ramming his sport utility vehicle several times into the back of a vehicle that had a Obama/Biden bumper sticker. Harry K. Weisiger, a retiree, made obscene gestures and pointed at the campaign sticker for President Barack Obama and running mate Joe Biden before he smashed into schoolteacher Mark Duren`s car, police said. Weisiger has been charged with reckless endangerment, leaving the scene of the accident and refusing to take a field sobriety test.

The incident appears to be among the overheated partisan political atmosphere, including death threats sent to members of Congress and their families who supported health care reform.

Duren had picked up his 10-year-old daughter from school Thursday when he stopped near the Belmont University campus. An SUV pulled up behind his Toyota Camry and the driver began honking and gesturing angrily toward the bumper sticker, The Tennessean reported.

I`m getting sick of these enraged morons who are so sick of healthcare reform that they think they can endanger the lives of others. America was founded on the principle of free speech, and yes, it`s a two way street - but what some of these people do goes beyond free expression and is treading the waters of extremism. Using force and threatening someone because of their political position or opinion is NO better than car bombers who blow up cars at polling places to show distaste for a candidate. When I hear that some radical Republican nimrod blows up a Senator`s office, I will not be shocked. It`s bad enough the troglodytes in the Tea Party called Barney Frank a faggot and John Lewis the idiotic "N word." Now our politicians have to live in fear because of how they vote? Like I said, NO different than Iraqi car bombers. I almost want to have a Republican in office just to shut these radical, impetuous and violent imbeciles up. Yes, I know, not EVERY Republican partakes in such heinous activities, and I know no single party is to blame. Sorry, Pelosi, but the ones who make the threats and carry out violent acts are to blame. That`s like blaming God for your shitty life, but praising him when something great happens - Democrats have the luxury of blaming the GOP because they`re the ones against the reform, and the ones making all the threats are ostensibly Republicans. The GOP is usually known for spin machine tactics, so Democrats, please don`t be stupid and say Republicans are to blame. There had to be an opposing party, and with opposing parties comes dissent. Don`t act as if you didn`t know this. In the end, the GOP will think the Dems are full of shit, and the Dems will think the GOP is full of shit; don`t act like this is news either.  Republicans - get over the fact that health care reform has been passed. Democrats - stop pointing blame. And to those who don`t give a shit, keep not giving a shit.

Oh, and to those of you sending these hateful letters and perpetuating violent acts based on the passage of health care reform: I have an Obama/Biden sticker on my car. I DARE you to try and run me off the road. Because next to my Obama/Biden sticker is your warning: "Armed Democrat Grandpa With Parkinson`s" on board. And you see, my old Grandpa doesn`t know where the shooting range ends and the real world begins. So try your luck, you mutant cretins.

 An Orange County woman`s new breasts cost her six months in jail. Yvonne Jean Pampellonne was sentenced Monday in Westminster for using a fraudulent line of credit to obtain $12,000 in cosmetic surgery, including breast implants and liposuction.

The 30-year-old woman had pleaded guilty to burglary, grand theft and identity theft. She was sentenced to 180 days in jail and was placed on three years` probation. Restitution was also ordered by the Westminster judge, but the amount wasn`t immediately clear.

Pampellonne used a line of credit established in another person`s name to get the September 2008 procedures at the Pacific Center for Plastic Surgery in Huntington Beach.

Of all the things she could have bought with this poor victim`s credit, she chose a boob job? I`d have ripped them out of her chest! I can only imagine how her time in jail will be with those manufactured cans hanging out of her prison uniform - think some of those ladies will notice? That`s like throwing a turd into a jar of flies. And speaking of turds, check out this next story that might make those of you who were recently dumped go lock your car doors:

A teen who allegedly defecated in a man`s car - thinking it was his girlfriend`s - was indicted Thursday on multiple charges of criminal property damage.

Leaving work late the night of March 11, the car`s owner reported finding 18-year-old Austin Horries Purifoy in the back seat of his Honda Civic, pulling up his underwear.

"This is your car?" Purifoy said, according to documents filed in court. "I thought this was Desiree`s car."

Purifoy then allegedly got out of the car and ran west.

The car`s right front window had been shattered with a rock, the glove box had been rummaged through and some coins had been taken from a film canister, the car`s owner told police.

Police also discovered a cinder block had been thrown through the glass door of a business a few yards away from where the Honda had been parked. Footprints leading from the door to the Honda were later found to match Purifoy`s shoes, which had a distinctive dot and circle pattern, according to court documents.

Located not long after by a nearby ditch, Purifoy allegedly told officers he was outside because he didn`t want his "girlfriend" Desiree to see him smoking.

So it wasn`t enough to throw a brick through her window and take her stuff - you had to pinch a loaf in her back seat? Oh yeah, that`s right - YOU GOT THE WRONG CAR, YOU NIMROD! If I were the owner of that car, I`d make this disgusting little punk eat that link, then I`d make him spit shine the seat and buff the poop smear out with his tongue. What makes this story so entertaining is the end: he was outside because he didn`t want his girlfriend, the planned recipient of a fresh dooky in her car, to see him smoking. No, you didn`t want her to see you, pants around your ankles, hanging trou and taking a shit IN THE WRONG CAR! I wouldn`t even do this to any of my own ex`s, and the majority of them deserve a fresh turd on their HEADS! And you consider that girl your girlfriend? I`d hate to see what you`d get her for a birthday present - I can guess it would involve your ass, a box, and dung with candles sticking out of it. Sick son of a bitch.

So, let us now traverse into that special segment that makes the crowd go wild - John`s Daily Dumbass! Ready, set, FAIL!

Police say a motorist fleeing officers in Cleveland abandoned his car and jumped a fence " landing in what turned out to be a prison yard.

Garfield Heights police say the chase started in that suburb early Monday over a traffic violation and reached speeds of 90 mph.

Police say that after a race through several communities, the driver and a passenger bolted from the car and headed for a fence.

I guess the barbed wire and fortress-like atmosphere weren`t enough for this fleeing fartknocker to realize he was in a prison yard. Good thing, because the police didn`t have to go far to book this cretin. So leadfoot, you are today`s recipient of "John`s Daily Dumbass" honors! And since obtaining such an honor can make one feel lonely and inadequate, I am making the backseat pooper a co-holder of the "John`s Daily Dumbass" trophy! Craptastic!

Here`s the portion of the show where I entertain and inform you - edutainment! Hawhawhaw... but yeah, let`s see where this goes. This  is about... the Octomom. Sigh.

 So, I guess there`s a lot of talk about the Octomom doing a porno to pay off her house. Yes, what a shock - a woman living off of student loans has 14 kids and goes belly-up financially. And here`s an even bigger shocker - a woman who had the kids put inside her via in vitro fertilization is considering doing PORN to pay off those debts. I know the people who are in love with this woman just couldn`t stand to have this woman lose the home that houses her little runts,  and they`ll all pony up some cash to help her out. Don`t feel a single shred of sympathy for this woman - there are honest, hard working people losing their homes in this country every single day - people who don`t forcibly implant 8 fetuses into their bellies. And, I should let it be known that I don`t think I`m alone when I say I won`t be viewing her porno. Not because of morals, but because of... aw who am I kidding, I`ll be the first one pre-ordering that shit! Now, Fox has a special on her entitled "Octo-Mom: The Incredible Unseen Footage" in the works. What is so incredible about this woman? And what will be so incredible about seeing her chase around 14 kids for two hours? What, do they have a special "unplanned" birth waiting for us on the special? Is she going to loose four more kids from her loins? I`m sure if you crank her arm the right way, a baby or two will pop out. Magazines, interviews, TV specials, appearances - where`s all the money going, OctoMoron? Why don`t you just auction off your kids and end this media frenzy already? Then they can release a DVD: "The Rise and Fall of Octomom." Or, you could have all your kids open up lemonade stands across your town - I`m sure between the 14 of them they could rake in some serious coin. But, if you must do a porno, you may as well do one that can satisfy all of the Hollywood-loving Americans - a three-way with Jon and Kate. Just make sure you leave the kids outside the studio.