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Published:March 1st, 2007 03:07 EST
Solving Global Warming and Homelessness in One Step

Solving Global Warming and Homelessness in One Step

By John Lillpop

How completely liberal-hypocritical of Al Gore to fly out to Hollywood just to accept an Oscar for saving the planet from whatever he was supposed to save it from.

After accepting his statue and preaching "Think Green" to a sinful world, the bloated former Veep then jumped on another jet and zipped back to Nashville, Tennessee.

After arriving in Tennessee, the Global Warming beat cop for the planet was probably chauffeured in a stretch limousine to his humble abode.

How humble? How does 20-rooms and eight baths spread out over 10,000 square feet sound?

After losing the election in 2000, Gore apparently needs a multi-million dollar mansion to soothe his hurt feelings from the shock of being rejected by the electoral college, the only vote that really matters in America.

With the exception of the U.S. Supreme Court vote, that is.

Just 10,000 square feet? I wonder where the Gores put up the servants? With just eight bathrooms to choose from, Al and Tipper probably arm wrestle for the right to use the biggest and best furnished commode first.

My money is on the heavyweight--that would be the lovable Tipper, of course.

After arriving at his mansion, Gore no doubt fired up the furnace to take the chill off those 20 rooms. Before Gore turns on the heat, he is obligated to alert the Tennessee Valley Authority (TVA) and advise of a potential energy drain in Nashville and surrounding states.

With his influence, Gore is able to force TVA into dumping a few non-millionaires off the grid so that his fat-vibrating exercise machines deliver a consistent flow of juice to the huge girth that has become Al Gore.

How expensive is it to heat and cool the Gore mansion? Would you believe $30,000 a year--approximately the amount of energy consumed by twenty "average" American families.

But, hey, we are talking a liberal icon. A man who is entitled to preach conservation and shame the great unwashed masses into carbon-neutral lifestyles while wallowing in reckless self-indulgence.

And why is Al Gore entitled to special treatment?

Because he is a liberal hypocrite who subscribes to the "Do as I say, Not As I Do" motto so prevalent in Democrat politicians these days.

Say what you will about George W. Bush, at least W never even pretended to be humble. He has been an arrogant boob right from the get go.

Al Gore has made a career out of pretending to be on the side of the common man while living a most uncommon--and non-carbon neutral--lifestyle.

In a strange twist of irony, the American people may have to elect Hillary Clinton in order to put blow hards like Al Gore in their places.

Senator Clinton, it will be remembered, promised to take excessive profits from the big oil corporations and deposit those unseemly funds into an energy escrow.

With that communist mindset, one can be sure that President Hillary Clinton would order the U.S. Marines to seize the Gore mansion and convert it into a homeless shelter.

With Hillary in charge, Gore can be ordered to share those eight bathrooms with 5,000 or so street people who urgently need showers and indoor plumbing to boost their sagging self-esteem.

Right, Hilldabeast?