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Published:November 9th, 2009 21:56 EST
SOP's Battle of the Bands Featuring Captain & `Is Buccaneer Oarkestra with Swashbucking Fun

SOP's Battle of the Bands Featuring Captain & `Is Buccaneer Oarkestra with Swashbucking Fun

By John G. Kays

Name of Track: Dreamer`s Holiday

Am promulgating the Right-Honorable Captain & `Is Buccaneer Oarkestra and their dittie-laden music platter-A Man Overboard. Few ears `ave drunk of `is tangy sounds, splendidly printed in the aforementioned production. `Is lordship has been pitifully waylaid on a speck of an isle in the Caribbean, much like Defoe`s Robinson Crusoe, and has endured hardship in the way of typhoons, hurricanes, & ghastly hangings of `is slew of rapscallions, with likewise fragrance fur habits or customs of merrymaking and kit-kat-carousing. And as such, `is consummate assemblages of 1998 `as lain isolated and without the kinship of prominence and the company of Higher-Ups in the world of commerce, at large, as such. & in furtherance, am penning a spark of a word fur `is colleague Monsieur Claude Boveé, who paints canvas and who cogitates more on pictures & beauty fur the eye, than booty fur the purse. Cap`n Brew Kid & Monsieur Boveé `ave shipmated on countless voyages & `ave survived the tempest of political turmoil, as well as bloodletting and devastation, but are still a semblance of living flesh, animated as such. On this scroll, I will tell ye why you should give a listen to these pipings, that will indubitably breath palmy zephyrs into your ears! A Man Overboard wears nicely with time-just brush off the coral, seaweed, & brine, and drink of the horn of Poseidon`s salty muses!  

Eureka! " `twas uttered when the Captain brainstormed the catchy nomenclature "Cap`n Brew Kidd` in the late seventies, around the days of the Iranian Revolt of the nefarious Ayatollah Khomeini (remember when the Iranians kidnapped the Americans in the U.S. embassy in Tehran), & too recall the formidable pulsations of the Punk Revolution, `specially the blokes fairing` from Angland-The Sex Pistols and sundry poesies of one Johnny Rotten. Olde Brew Kidd `ad been admirin` me buke A General History of The Robberies & Murders of The Most Notorious Pirates; principally devouring the words on Captain William Kidd, and `is misdeeds, which he paid an ultimate farthing, and was hung & ignobly displayed in chains on the gallows, near the river Thames, puttin` the fear of The Maker in any stray dog gloatin` on `is piracies. The musically-endowed Captain added on the "Brew` fur the largesse portions of punch drunk by `isself & the lotta rogues that rampaged on missions with `im. Hearsay he`s forsaked the pungent potency of 100 percent proof punch in `is latter days. Shiver me timbers, your constituency, but it is rather `is chanteys, and there buoyancies that I wish to bear witness herein! 

The Goodman Captain was tinkering with these pirate anthems fully twenty-five years ago; but now-a-days the absconding Disney blokes and that pansy-pants Johnny Depp are hoardin` all the treasure fur theirselves, with that wallflower of a slab of celluloid: the Pirates Of The Caribbean-some of them pieces of eight rightfully should go to Brew Kidd or to meself, the original chronicler of Blackbeard, Rackham, Captain Avery, & sundry other rogues. Anyways, I prefer the original Treasure Island with the idol Charles Laughton as John Silver and Jackie Koogan as the cabin boy. I stray from my vocation! Olde Cap`n Brew Kidd released a right innovative "art cassette`, with the title: Urban Buccaneer, in the year 1980 that is festooned with piratical limerick and bits & pieces of the fabric of pop, ska, sea chanteys, ballads, rockers, dirges, island sounds, Punk & "New Wave` stuff-in short, a treasure trove of contemporary sound bites that`s mostly teeming with fun, romance, suspense, and tall tales-all the victuals of proper-piratical wisdom or custom that has been handed down from the Blackbeard-Days of the 1700s or there abouts! And it is a deed in the works now to replenish `er so that she can sail the high seas again, and to make her digital and refit her with art, and make her available on a CD for the blessed multitudes, before too many tides ur dawns and dusks roll over. Yet here are a few tributes to this Pot A Gold! 

The song most seemly to acquire the moniker of a number one smash hit would be track 4, "Dreamer`s Holiday`-tis a chimerical, romantic pop-ballad along the lines of Harold Arnold, and should be blasting through every radio box in the Free World, and also on the dabblasted Apple I-Tune Network. "World of Dreams` is a fragrant little instrumental, and "Crackerhash`, an ode to the pirate biscuit, is a right peppy little jig that will lift you off your hammock and toss you a light-stepping on the top floor with a merrymaid. "Bottle of Rum` is a fictional ballad based on a real fella and is laden with catchy hooks & lyrics, as a cutthroat recalls his high-seas` misadventures, just mill-a-seconds before `is green mile to the gallows. "Whale Of A Tale` is yet another ear-catcher, sagaciously delivered by Doctor Sticks, the drummer fur Brew Kidd, and it comes from the flick Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea, a right miraculous mariner picture. "The Twister` is a disaster ditty (please remember Airplane or perhaps the new zany Snakes On A Plane for its archetype) and was done up as a music video, if you`d care to view it at a later date. Finally or mortally, "Eye Of A Deadman` may grab its muse from the Golden Age Of Piracy most succinctly of `em all! & there are more, & all of `em are diamonds, emeralds, or rubies, if you was to ask me! So start your preparations or marketing stratagems, that is, scheme up ways to get these jewels, by way of nautical chanteys, out of storage and into the earpieces of all the citizenry of the Americas fur me; satisfy me wishes, if you will, and I will quickly brim your barrels with crackerhash & lace your bowls with powerful, eye-opening punch!  

Great Caesar`s Ghost! Seems as if we are running short of bunk space in this sloop, so I will begin to parcel my words with prudent dexterity. If you could see fit to bring these songs to Everyman, or to the wider Body Politick, this would serve `is Lordship Brew Kidd well & bring em fortune & fame, as is fitting fur a man of `is caliber. A Man Overboard is more fun than the Pirate Pendulum at The Texas State Fair or Skull Island that resides at Six Flags Over Texas! Don`t let the olde boy sputter out of gas, so thus the carrion crow will swoop down and leisurely pick at `is mortal carcass, devourin` `is tasty innards, then `is dusty charnel bones will flounder through eternity in obsequious obsolescence!  
 

                              With the Utmost Sincerity

                              & X Marks Me Spot, 

                              Captain Charles Johnson    

Email me at johngkays@gmail.com and I will give my address. Just $10 for a CD.