July 16th, 2009 16:46 EST
French Kiss Leads To Positive Drug Test
"Richard Gasquet of France, who was barred from competition after a positive drug test, is free to rejoin the ATP Tour since an International Tennis Federation panel agreed with him that he had inadvertently ingested trace amounts of cocaine while kissing a woman.
Gasquet, ranked 32nd in the world, was suspended in May after he pulled out of a tournament in Key Biscayne, Fla., citing a shoulder injury. A urine sample he provided at the tournament tested positive for cocaine.
Although Gasquet, 23, was at fault for exposing himself to contamination at a nightclub, `that fault was not significant,` the three-lawyer panel ruled today. Gasquet had told the panel that he took in the cocaine while kissing a woman, whom he identified only as Pamela, The Associated Press reported." Bob Goetz/New York Times
The French tennis player must have been French kissing the young lady if he inadvertently ingested trace amounts of cocaine while kissing her. I hope the intimate kiss was worth the long suspension.
The next time Gasquet is feeling amorous, he should ask his date to rinse her mouth out with mouthwash. It`s better for Gasquet to insult his date, than to risk a suspension from the sport he loves so much.
Athletes often mingle with celebrities, but Gasquet is well advised to stay away from the likes of Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, Lil` Kim, Amy Winehouse, Denise Richards, Whitney Houston, Pamela Anderson, Nicole Richie, Mariah Carey, Carmen Electra, Megan Fox and Lindsay Lohan. Just one little smooch with one of these bimbos, and he might test positive for cocaine, marijuana, and heaven knows what else.
I`m surprised that the International Tennis Federation bought Gasquet`s excuse that he tested positive for cocaine because he kissed a girl. I wonder how a similar excuse would work if a stoner is pulled over by a cop:
Cop: I pulled you over because your brake lights are defective. But you also look like you are stoned out of your mind.
Stoner: Officer dude, I haven`t smoked weed all day. I gave mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to a chick who had been smoking pot. I must have got high from saving her life.
Needless to say that excuse would fall on deaf ears. Athletes are pampered and coddled, shame on the International Tennis Federation for buying Gasquet`s lame excuse!