September 17th, 2009 15:06 EST
Field of Dreams Part Deux
Once upon a time, Dominican baseball legend Chico Escuela stood before red, hot television cameras live from New York on a Saturday night and blurted out the words that will live in infamy.
Upon stepping up to the plate, Escuela said:
"Baseball...been berra berra good...to me."
Those words of wisdom had to be running through the minds of two former New Mexico high school baseball players when their coach thought he was hitting one out of the park by hiring two exotic dancers to come up to the youngsters` hotel room while they were at an event in Denver.
One can only imagine that the veteran coach wanted the lads to learn about the indoor fly rule.
Ah, the list can go on and on.
How to handle a curve.
Uncovering all the bases.
Apparently, he paid the gals $222.50 each with his personal credit card. And then there was another charge of 67 bucks and a cash donation of $100.
So he was merely showing the boys how to get behind in the count, too.
The coach did not stick around. That`s what good coaches do, anyway. You`ve got to let the players play.
But nothing `happened` between the players and the women. They must have been too wrapped up in watching "This Week in Baseball."
As expected, there was a fallout when the naked truth came out.
Parents of aspiring big leaguers are now thinking twice before letting their sons head on down to the strip mall.
In addition, the coach got fired. That`s what happens when your strategy is way off base.
He`s also out to the tune of well over $500. Just chalk it up as his way of helping with economic stimulus.
Be that as it may, this whole episode will come in handy if Kevin Cosner ever wanted to spice up "Field of Dreams."
There is no truth to the rumor that Playboy will be a proud sponsor of the team next year. This is good news because you`d hate to see little Johnny swinging for the fences while wearing a Hugh Hefner bathrobe and black socks.
The moral of the story is one that goes back to the days when Abner Doubleday toed the slab and warned his ballclub of the dangers of mixing baseball and strippers:
Avoid costly errors.