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Published:November 29th, 2009 11:16 EST
Top Ten Tiger Woods Jokes

Top Ten Tiger Woods Jokes

By Robert Paul Reyes

*Eldrick Tont Woods nickname is no longer "Tiger", from now on he will be known as pussy....cat. That`s what happens when your wife beats you up.

*Woods has lost his intimidation factor, how threatening can the world`s top golfer be when he shows up on the golf course with scratches on his face, and everybody knows his wife is the culprit?

*Cadillac will drop Woods as a spokesperson, but he will pick up a new sponsor: Hummer. Tiger: We`ve all got up at an ungodly hour in the morning to get away from a jealous spouse. If you happen to crash into a tree or a fire hydrant: No problem! Nothing can stop a Hummer!

*The PGA will find a new marque player to represent their sport, one who isn`t so controversial: John Daly.

*The galleries that follow Tiger Woods on a golf tournament will consist primarily of blond bimbos, and they will litter the golf course with panties and keys.

*Meet Tiger Woods: New spokesperson for Viagra!

*Now that Woods has "street cred" he will go gangsta and release a rap CD

*Golf announcers will no longer defer to Woods, they will blast him for cursing like a sailor on the golf course.

*Carrie Prejean is breathing a sigh of relief, she`s no longer the biggest joke in the world.

*People will realize that Tiger Woods is human after all.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter:  http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes