November 30th, 2009 10:00 EST
Everybody Is Talking Smack About Tiger Woods: I Love It!
TOP TEN THINGS PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT TIGER WOODS
*Tiger Woods` wife swings a driver better than he does.
*If Tiger can`t avoid a fire hydrant on his own property, how is he gonna avoid water hazards at the golf course?
*What`s up with Tiger hooking up only with blond bimbos?
*Tiger Woods isn`t going to appear in public until his facial lacerations heal. It would be too embarrassing for the public to see how badly his spouse scratched him.
*Tiger must feel that getting a little on the side is par for the course for a world famous athlete.
*I hear Tiger made a sex video with his mistress, but it`s boring, it`s all fore play.
*Tiger will probably win Player of the Year award next year -- at the pimps` annual Players Ball.
*What`s Tiger hiding? Why isn`t he speaking to the police or to the public?
*Even if Tiger goes on Oprah and cries like a baby and jumps on her sofa, his fans ain`t gonna forgive him.
*Tiger Woods, you`re no role model!
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