April 2nd, 2010 12:21 EST
Top Ten Questions I'm Dying To Ask Tiger Woods
"On Monday, Tiger Woods will have a press conference at Augusta National prior to The Masters.
This will be Woods` first press conference, since his problems began last year, in which he will entertain questions from a variety of reporters.
But we wonder what answers you would like from Woods." USAToday.
The Masters controls every aspect of its tournament, including any press conferences, with a diligence that would make Stalin proud. I guarantee their won`t be any reporters from TMZ asking Tiger who is his favorite lover.
Here are some of the questions I would love to ask the disgraced golfer:
*Sir, The Masters doesn`t allow women to be members -- why did you choose this tournament to make your comeback, considering your well deserved reputation for treating women like sex objects?
*Until fairly recently the Masters didn`t allow African Americans to be members, do you care more about winning majors than you do about civil rights?
*Your fellow players, the announcers and the fans treated you with respect and deference before you were revealed to the world as a scumbag of epic proportions. Are you afraid that the fans will yell insults, and that the announcers will criticize you when you curse on the course?
*Have you been tested for HIV?
*Your wife won`t be in attendance at the Masters, are you afraid that one of your bimbo lovers will attend the tournament?
*How do you feel about the fact that your Johnson is now more famous than your driver?
*Why didn`t you fire any of your enablers?
*Sir, you may not consider yourself to be an African American, but 99.99 percent of the American people think you are black. You were one of the most highly respected blacks in our country, and now you are the epitome of the stereotype of the black man as a sexual predator who is always prowling for white women to ravish. How does this make you feel?
*Are you still cheating on your wife?
*Who is your favorite lover?
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