Contact theSOPAbout theSOPSupport theSOPWritersEditorsManaging Editors
theSOP logo
Published:June 3rd, 2007 07:53 EST
The Fundamental Choice is Yours - You are Never Alone Oh Brilliant One!

The Fundamental Choice is Yours - You are Never Alone Oh Brilliant One!

By Simon Bailey (Mentor/Columnist)

Over the last few weeks, I`ve shared with you how we can help unlock the brilliance of the men and women in our lives. I hope that you`ve used some of the insights to uplift, encourage and spark another human being to be bold, brave and brilliant.

As a result of feedback from some of you, our Brilliant Carat subscribers, I realize there was one major oversight in my writing these last few weeks. I must admit that, to a certain extent, I had blinders on by neglecting to speak to the men and women who have no one in their lives to support them. One particular email from a Brilliant Carat subscriber made this point painfully clear. This reader gave me permission to share the email, but asked that his/her name not be disclosed:

Sometimes the world forgets that there are a lot of people who do not have spouses, significant others, siblings, friends or anyone that can do all that you prescribed in unlocking inner brilliance. It is so heart rendering to be one of these people and to be totally surrounded by supposedly happily married people, family-oriented people, new couples dating, etc. All of this on a constant basis is overwhelming.

Maybe other people like this have been able to "get over it" or become totally detached or totally bitter or indeed realize that they do not need someone else to release their brilliance"or maybe I just need to learn to hit the delete key when things like this come in.

Sorry about this email, but maybe you need a slightly different perspective sometimes from your readership. It would be wonderful if ALL the women and men in the world had this sort of structure, but I do not believe they do, and some are dealing with broken marriages, broken hearts, and broken promises.

When I read this email, I was humbled, and I learned something valuable: Telling people how to release their brilliance without considering the total person is limiting at best.

I totally agree with the part where the reader points out that you do not need someone else supporting you in order to release your brilliance. If I inadvertently sent the message these last few weeks that you can`t release your brilliance without a support network, I am truly sorry, as that was never my intention.

If you don`t have a husband, significant other, father, brother or male friend, is it over for you? No! If you don`t have a wife, significant other, mother, sister or female friend, are you doomed to living an unfulfilled life? Absolutely not! Can you still live a brilliant life even if it`s just you? Yes, you can! But you must believe in your brilliance and start moving, speaking and acting as if you are brilliant.

I absolutely believe that each of us must take personal responsibility for growing, developing and unleashing our potential. Yes, the people we surround ourselves with can be Brilliance Blockers or Brilliance Boosters, but they are nothing more than influencers. Releasing your brilliance comes down to you and you alone.

I know what some of you are thinking: "Simon, you don`t have a clue what it`s like to be in my shoes." You know what? You`re right! I don`t. My life certainly hasn`t been a bed of roses, but I`m not even going to pretend that I know what some of you who have faced unimaginable pain, disappointment and heartache are dealing with. But I do know for a fact that even those of you who have been dealt the cruelest blows of life can release your brilliance, all on your own. How do I know this? Because I personally know brilliant diamonds " people who are living truly extraordinary lives on their own, despite broken marriages, broken hearts and broken promises. In fact, some of them are reading this right now, just like you are. And I believe they would tell you"

Go and get your life back!

Don`t waste precious years studying whyology. This is a word I created to describe the way some people spend too much time agonizing over why certain things happened in their life (i.e., divorce, death of a loved one, debt, downsizing, disappointments) or why, after creating the "perfect" life, everything didn`t turn out peachy keen like it was supposed to. Instead, focus on removing the situations, limitations and restrictions that stifle your brilliance. Here are seven Brilliance Blockers that need to be eliminated immediately:

  • Brilliance Blocker: Lack of courage. Fear is powerful. It stops us in our tracks, preventing us from moving toward our hearts` desires. And the more we dwell on our fears, the more negative we become " about ourselves, our lives, our futures. You`ve probably heard the acronym for FEAR " False Evidence
    A
    ppearing Real. Our fears create filters that distort the truth, alter our view of reality and squelch hope.

    Brilliance Booster: Realize that your fears are false " nothing but smoke " and then walk right through them. Make a bold move: ask for a pay raise or new assignment, start a business, learn something new, ask someone out, make a new friend. When you become personally accountable for your life " how you think, what you believe and how you act " then you`ll be able to defeat your fears. So summon the courageous lion within you and take a bold step. And if you simply can`t do it on your own, have the courage to ask someone for help.

  • Brilliance Blocker: No direction, vision or strategic plan from year to year. Without some kind of plan to know where you`re going, you will float through life, hoping that things will work out the way you want them to. But without putting focused thought or energy toward a defined vision, you have little chance of seeing it come to fruition.

    Brilliance Booster: Make a 90-day action plan " once a quarter, four times a year. Start simple " don`t create some elaborate and overwhelming plan. Have a personal board of directors meeting with "me, myself and I." Ask yourself, "How am I doing in the core areas of my life? Where would I like to be in 90 days?" Your answers to these basic questions will drive your plan. Re-evaluate at the end of each quarter to keep yourself moving forward.

  • Brilliance Blocker: No drive. Too many people have no zest for life, no drive to experience the world beyond their zip code. They are the walking dead among us, just going through the motions. Without drive, we become lazy, and laziness is the archenemy of brilliance. The greatest tragedy in business is not workforce reductions, budget freezes or constant change. The greatest tragedy is to have an organization full of brilliant people who haven`t yet discovered their brilliance.

    Brilliance Booster: Find something that inspires you, that breathes life into you and then use it to fire yourself up from the inside out. Turn off the TV and get off the couch! Get out and see the world (that world could be the city you live in). Explore it, discover it, try something new.

  • Brilliance Blocker: Lack of knowledge. What you don`t know will hurt you. If what you know this year is the same as what you knew last year, you haven`t grown. We are living in a knowledge economy. Organizations realize that their competitive edge lies in what their people have between their ears. Innovation is found within the minds of human beings.

    Brilliance Booster: Rekindle a joy for learning. Start by picking one thing you want to know more about. Everything you want to know is a click away. How bad do you want it? There`s simply no excuse in this day and age to not be constantly learning and growing. Learn a new language over the internet. Turn your car into a mobile university with audio books and teleseminars.

  • Brilliance Blocker: Internal dishonesty. Sadly, many people keep their brilliance locked away because they deceive themselves " they`re not truthful about where they are in life and what they`re capable of doing. Is it hard to look yourself in the mirror and get gut-wrenchingly honest with yourself? Without question. Will it dramatically change your life? Without question!

    Brilliance Booster: Put your truth " the whole truth " on the table. According to ancient text, the truth that you know and act upon will make you free. If you`ve suffered disappointments and heartache in your life, what was your role in the situation? In most cases, we are responsible for some portion of our misfortune. If you are a victim of past trauma, are you using your tragedy as a crutch? Get honest, see the possibilities of your life and become a victor.

  • Brilliance Blocker: Harmful belief systems. Your belief system determines who you are, what you do and what you have. Your belief system is, in effect, the accumulation of all your past experiences, how you perceived those experiences and the conclusions you drew about life from those perceptions. As a result, it can be misinformed, skewed or even downright wrong. Your belief system acts as a lens through which you see the world and everything that happens in it. If your beliefs cause you to see a distorted view of life, you will likely miss the opportunities, beauty and true color of the wonderful world around you.

    Brilliance Booster: Hit the reset button on your beliefs. As you believe, so you are. As you believe, so you become. Your beliefs are seated deep within your soul. Do the inner work to discover your core beliefs, identify those that are skewed (from setbacks and disappointments) and therefore harmful, and get help to change them. Pure beliefs are the internal motivator to win, to be fulfilled and to have a meaningful life.

  • Brilliance Blocker: Lack of support. This is where we started this ezine " with the reader who has no one to encourage and support him/her. Being alone is a state of being physically separated from other people. Few people on the planet are truly alone. However, millions of people are lonely, lacking companionship and human touch in their lives. But loneliness is a temporary state"and one that you can choose to change.

    Brilliance Booster: Choose to leave loneliness behind. What are you waiting for? There are a lot of single women who are waiting for Mr. Right, believing that when he appears, life will be wonderful. When you believe that you "need" something, that`s exactly where you will stay " "in need." Instead, decide right now to find people who are for you, who understand you " not just for what you can get from them, but for how you can help each other. Invest your time and energy in these people. Tear down the walls you`ve built to keep others out. Ask the Universe to send help and then open your eyes, your ears and your heart so you will recognize it when it arrives. When you help yourself, others will show up to assist you.

All of these Brilliance Blockers can be eliminated. Do you want them to be gone or do you want to continue to wallow in them? Don`t pitch a tent in the midst of your mountains and perceived limitations, expecting people to bring you supplies. Instead, go out and buy mountain climbing equipment. Get over your mountains, even if you have to do it one step at a time. You must do the difficult work. You must take the initiative"no one can do it for you.

The fundamental choice is yours, and yet remember this: You are not alone. I am here. You may have no one else in the world, but you have me. I am your Brilliandeer. I have come alongside you to coach you to your brilliance. I believe in you. I will encourage you. But I will not get down and wallow with you in the muck. Why? Because I can`t help you out if I`m stuck in it with you! I will not give up on you, nor do I want you to give up on yourself. I know you can pull it together.

Simon Believes"YOU are the key to releasing your brilliance and becoming the glorious diamond you were meant to be.

For More Information:" www.simontbailey.com