Contact theSOPAbout theSOPSupport theSOPWritersEditorsManaging Editors
theSOP logo
Published:January 3rd, 2007 07:27 EST
Shortage of Virgins in Islamic Heaven?

Shortage of Virgins in Islamic Heaven?

By John Lillpop

Adnan el-Shukrijumah, al-Qaeda field commander in Afghanistan recently warned Muslims to leave the United States because another major terrorist attack is in the works.

As one who is fascinated by Islam, I admit to being confused by Adnan el-Shukrijumah’s warning. On the one hand, I appreciate the fact that the man is kind enough to warn brothers in the Islamofascist movement of impending doom so that steps can be taken to avoid annihilation.

On the other hand, one of the more appealing aspects of Islam is the promise of 72 virgins commencing with one’s earthly death and ascension into Islamic heaven.

If that promise were true, why would Adnan el-Shukrijumah “warn” the brothers to leave?

It would seem to make better Muslim sense for Adnan el-Shukrijumah to keep that information under his turban. That way, Muslim brother’s fortunate enough to be caught up in the next attack could cash in on those carnal blessings promised in the Koran.

Perhaps there is another answer: Is there a shortfall of virgins in Islamic heaven?

Could it be that G.W. Bush and his coalition of willing infidels have created a virgin supply-demand imbalance by killing so many terrorists?


An imbalance that is threatening to shut down the Virgin Redemption Center (VRC) wing of Islamic heaven?

What a pity that would be. All those horny Islamofascists robbed of their greatest incentive to murder and maim.

But if that is indeed the case, Praise be to Allah!