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World

Millennial Wankers Get Lost in the Woods Searching for UFO's

These millennial scum had smart phones, but no flashlights. To go hiking in the woods in the evening without flashlights is nuttier than believing in UFO's.

Robert Paul ReyesMillennial Wankers Get Lost in the Woods Searching for UFO's - These millennial scum had smart phones, but no flashlights. To go hiking in the woods in the evening without flashlights is nuttier than believing in UFO's.
Robert Paul ReyesPic of Kim Jong-un's Face Featured on $80 Male Romper - The unique romper is on sale online for $79.99, what twisted wanker would buy such a perverted outfit?
Robert Paul ReyesFirefighters Rescue Woman With Leg Stuck in Toilet - Firefighters in China rescued a woman who was trapped in a bathroom when her leg became stuck in a toilet for six hours.
Robert Paul ReyesSwiss Adult Education School Teaching Klingon - Speaking of language courses, Donald Trump would be well-advised to enroll in an adult education remedial English class.
Robert Paul ReyesCanadian Dude Mows Lawn With Tornado Behind Him - Tornadoes in Canada?
Robert Paul ReyesMaintenance Guy Plays With Homeowner's Cat: Video - It restores my faith in human nature that this maintenance guy fixed the problem and played with the cat.
Robert Paul ReyesA Tale Involving a Naked Burglar, a Bucket, and a $25,000 Swan Sculpture - God have mercy on Floridians.
Robert Paul ReyesChinese Driver Uses Umbrella While Driving Convertible in Rain! Write Your Own Joke! - This story confirms my belief that life is absurd, if life was fair this clueless clown would be driving a Ford Pinto and not a beautiful machine like a Mercedes-Benz convertible.
Robert Paul ReyesDude Sues Date for Texting During 'Guardians of the Galaxy Vo. 2' - The lawsuit alleges the woman opened her phone to read and send text messages 10 to 20 times during the film.
Robert Paul ReyesOutrage! Green Party Teaching Women How to Urinate Standing Up! - Teaching women how to urinate standing up is a biological absurdity, and an affront to the Almighty! What in the name of God is next? Will they hold a special meeting to teach women how to adjust their crotch in public just like the dudes?
Robert Paul ReyesEvil Ronald McDonald Statue Stolen From McDonald's Restaurant - It doesn't get any more evil than a life-size statue of a clown sitting on a bench outside of a McDonald's restaurant, the civic-minded citizen who stole the abomination should be awarded a key to the city.
Robert Paul ReyesWoman Arrested For Xylophone Rage Attack - Although Encarnacion should be commended for her restraint, I would have boiled the pot of cooking grease before dumping it on the moron playing the musical instrument.
Robert Paul ReyesOutrage: Centenarian Awarded Gold Medal for Running 100-Meter Sprint in 1 Minute 40 Seconds - Enough with this politically-correct tomfoolery in pretending that folks who are older than dirt can still participate in athletic events.
Robert Paul ReyesEpic Encounter Between Red Panda and a Rock Rocks the Internet: Video - This epic encounter between the panda and the rock is a prime example why we love the Internet.
Robert Paul ReyesDad Kills Son Over Who Would Walk the Dog - A family argument over who would walk the dog turned deadly when a dad shot and killed his son during a wild shootout Sunday in Chicago.
Robert Paul ReyesTwitter User Seeks 18 Million Retweets for Free Wendy's Nuggets - Wendy's challenged a Twitter user to accumulate 18 million retweets on a single tweet to earn a year of free chicken nuggets.
Robert Paul ReyesChimp at Zoo Throws Poo in Grandma's Face to the Delight of the Crowd: Video - A grandma left a Michigan zoo with an unexpected souvenir after being struck in the face by a ball of poop.
Robert Paul ReyesJewelry Store's 'Throw Rocks at Girls' Billboard Creates Backlash - Anybody who jokes about throwing rocks at girls has a caveman mentality, boycott Spicer Greene Jewelers in Asheville.
Robert Paul ReyesDude Eats Scrambled Eggs in Middle of Busy Street - Death to all performance artists.
Robert Paul ReyesJapanese Town Offering Discount Funerals for Seniors Who Give Up Driving - In a perfect world our highways and byways would be senior citizen free zones.
Robert Paul ReyesEpic Las Vegas Street Fight Between Dude Wearing Eeyore Onesie and a Guitarist - A shocking brawl between a man holding a guitar and another man dressed in a Eeyore onesie was captured on video
Robert Paul ReyesLittle Fart Farts on Weatherman on Live TV: Video - The little fart was dragged off-screen by an adult, I would have dragged the weather dude off-screen.
Robert Paul ReyesDude Dies Under His Six-ton Collection of Adult Magazines - A lonely Japanese man who amassed more than six tons of porn died when a huge pile of magazines fell on top of him.
Robert Paul ReyesFetus Captured on Ultrasound Flashing Sign of the Horns! Antichrist? - Rock on little dude! Rock on!
Robert Paul ReyesTwo Snuggie-clad Goats Terrorize Idaho Town - I dont give the devil an inch for fear hell steal my soul, therefore you will never catch me wearing a Snuggie or petting a goat at a petting zoo.
Robert Paul ReyesPainter Paints UFO's and ET's He's Seen Face to Face - I would welcome extraterrestrials with open arms, they arent as scary as the greedy and deceitful human heart.
Robert Paul ReyesMoron Sues Mexican Restaurant After Fall From Donkey Statue - Not to put too fine a point on it, but Kimberly is an ass, and she deserves a kick in the ass instead of a financial reward for her stupidity.
Robert Paul ReyesSmugglers Disguise Packages of Marijuana as Watermelons - America would be a much saner and peaceful place if every American consumed a watermelon-sized package of cannabis on a yearly basis.
Robert Paul ReyesWoman Beats Her Pregnant Sister to a Bloody Pulp Over a Weave - Violence is always lurking beneath the surface in the ghetto, and this verbal dispute over a weave quickly degenerated into a bloody fistfight with the pregnant sister getting the worst of it.
Robert Paul ReyesUnipiper Keeps Portland Weird by Shoveling Snow While Riding a Unicycle - The unipiper should consider keeping Portland weird by jumping off a skyscraper while clad in diapers and playing a flute.
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