| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Drunk Driver Had Zebra Riding Shotgun - This dude is going straight from the Dog House to the Big House; I hope his girlfriend takes good care of the zebra while the jackass is in jail.
|
| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Kindergartener Takes His Dad's Pot To School In His Backpack - However, if the kid`s backpack also contained four bags of Doritos, a couple of Twinkies, and a cupcake,I`d say the little freak was smoking the dope.
|
| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Beijing Officials: Only Two Flies Allowed Per Toilet - Only the poor souls who give Rosie O`Donnell a Brazilian wax or a pedicure have a worse job than a Chinese restroom attendant.
|
| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Banned License Plate In Maryland: Heroin - Don't be a idiot, if you can't live without a personalized license plate, at least choose an innocuous plate like: CatLover
|
| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Aviation Company Fires Employees Who Complained About Lack Of Toilet - Did the owners of Menzies Aviation expect their employees to wear adult diapers? |
| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Suspicious Package In Cemetery Turns Out To Be Teens' Art Project - When your art project is mistaken for a bomb, you need to attend remedial art class.
|
| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Outrage: Dude Uses Statue Of Buddha To Smash Windshield - I hope Galarza is reincarnated as a statue of Tinky Winky.
|
| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Pink Duct Tape-Clad Lady Injures 3 Cops, Bartender & Female Customer At Bar - If you live in Seattle and you see a woman pull out a roll of pink duct tape from her purse, for God`s sake run for your life!
|
| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Lady Stabs Her Man With A Sea Shell Four Times! - This dude will be the laughingstock of his neighborhood for years to come.
|
| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Man Sues Physicians For Chopping Off His Manhood! Ouch! - Milla should have opted for Cialis, one of the side effects of this drug is a four-hour erection. I`d rather "suffer" a four-hour erection, than have my manhood cut off.
|
| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Teen Finds A Finger In An Arby's Sandwich! - The couple has already obtained a lawyer, and you can be sure they won`t just give Arby`s the finger and walk away. |
| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Insanity: Old Man Falls Down A Ravine Chasing A Giant Snake! - A normal red-blooded American male will run away crying like a schoolgirl when he sees a giant snake. |
| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Australian School Official Hands Out Provocatively Shaped Candies To Children - The school official who handed out the provocatively shaped candies has resigned; I hope he is charged with contributing to the delinquency of children. |
| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Cops Arrest Naked Unicyclist - I often complain about my regular 9 to 5 job, but at least my job description doesn`t read: May have to arrest naked unicyclist.
|
| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Fake Royal Canadian Mounted Police Officer Tries To Steal ATM! - When the fake Mountie and his cohort realized that the ATM was bolted to the floor, they left in frustration. Did the morons think that the ATM would be on rollers?
|
| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Non-Story Of The Week: Motorcyclist Flees Cops Until He Runs Out Of Gas! - This UPI article has all the ingredients for a thrilling story, except a fiery climax. |
| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Swedish Ladies Live In Fear Of Flatulence During Intimate Moments - It is not a dude`s stomach but another part of his anatomy that dictates whether or not he will engage in sex.
|
| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Miracle Of Birth Takes Place In A Restaurant - The restaurant should name a sandwich or at least an appetizer after baby Azauria.
|
| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Some Folks See Naked Woman On Face Of New Plastic Canadian $20 Bill - I wouldn't complain if they introduced a dollar bill with a picture of a naked woman, it would be an improvement of images of dead white guys.
|
| Ron G Anselm |  | Failed Attempt to Rob a London Liquor Stores Leaves Knife-Wielding Underwear Man Exposed - A London man by the name of Tazviona Maluge Bhebe or should we even use the term `man` maybe replace it with moron decided he was a little down on his luck and short on cash decided to... |
| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Dude Loses Control Of Motorized Bar Stool! - James' wife should remove the engine from the bar stool, and nail the bar stool to the floor.
|
| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Shoplifter Waves Samurai Sword At Security Guard - A samurai sword is a very intimidating weapon, and brandishing the sword will stop a security guard dead in his tracks. |
| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Redneck Couple Gets Married At The Hog Waller Mud Bog & ATV Mud Pit - Kodie and Carina are good stewards of their finances, the typical couple who spends around $25,000 for a wedding are morons.
|
| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Lady Finds Grasshopper In 'President's Choice' Can Of Beans! Obama Would Have Dumped Beans And Eaten Grasshopper! - At least the can of beans was properly labeled "President`s Choice", in his memoir President Barack Obama admitted that as a child in Indonesia he ate grasshoppers, dogs and snakes.
|
| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Man Sues BMW: Riding Bike Gave Him 20-Month Erection! Hard Case For Judge To Solve! - At first blush a 20-months and counting erection might seem like a good thing, but the man finds it very hard to deal with his condition. |
| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Dude Buys Weed Online From Guy He Met Playing At XboxLive.Com - I might trust buying weed from a physics professor I met at a String Theory chat room, but I wouldn't purchase jack from some dude in a video playing site.
|
| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Polish Rapper's Sculpture Is Real Crappy - I know this article is kind of crappy, but you can't expect Pulitzer-worthy material every day.
|
| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Dude Files Complaint With Police: Flight Attendant Woke Me Up By Tapping My Knee - Did he expect the flight attendant to gently wake him up with a song: Wake up my sweet baby, we are at the gate. Open your sweet little eyes, you don't want to be late.
|
| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Man Faces 5 Years For Stealing Cup Of Soda From McDonald's! He Ain't Loving It! - Three strikes, and you're out! Due to previous petty theft convictions, this joker was charged with a felony instead of a petty theft charge. |
| Robert Paul Reyes |  | Foolish Woman Loses Wedding Ring Worth $55,825 - I don't feel this woman's pain, when your wedding ring costs a small fortune, you don't take it off your finger -- period!
|
