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Will Says...

Jailers Find Loaded Gun in Teen's Vagina: Video

Judging by her mugshot Dallas is very attractive, although her face is unnaturally red. Is her father Satan?

Robert Paul ReyesMoron Charged With Murder Wants 'Murder' Tattoo Removed: Video - I would gladly volunteer to remove this murdering moron`s tattoo with a dirty razor blade, it`s a shame money is being wasted on a trial; just flush this piece of crap down the toilet.
Robert Paul ReyesJailers Find Loaded Gun in Teen's Vagina: Video - Judging by her mugshot Dallas is very attractive, although her face is unnaturally red. Is her father Satan?
Robert Paul ReyesOutrage: SF BART Trains to be Outfitted With Colors of Seattle Seahawks - A neon green and blue color scheme on BART trains is a slap in the face of 49ers fans, and an affront to the aesthetic sensibilities of every red-blooded San Franciscan.
Robert Paul ReyesDude Finds 6 Carat Diamond in Crater of Diamonds State Park: Video - Crater of Diamonds state park is the only park where people can come and search for diamonds that they can then keep.
Robert Paul ReyesKFC Chicken Corsage a Fowl Idea: Video - Dude a chicken corsage is a fowl idea, if you don`t live in the Deep South forget it!
Robert Paul ReyesJury Orders Man to Pay $5,001 to Coworker for Peeing in his Coffee - The jury didn`t have to include a rocket scientist or a Sherlock Holmes to deduce that Butler exhibited personal ill will and spite " towards Utz by peeing into his coffee.
Robert Paul Reyes'Butt-dialing' Burglars Busted After Accidental 911 Call - This incident occurred on April 1, 2014, but it`s no April Fools` Day joke.
Robert Paul ReyesAtheist Asks for Atheist Attorney After Attack on Roomie Mistaken for Jesus - Beggars can`t be choosers, if this penniless bum wants an atheist public defender he can sell plasma, steal copper wire, sell his body, and beg for spare change until he can afford one.
Robert Paul ReyesYpsilanti Police Searching for Serial Pooper - When I first read this article my first thought was: You`ve got to be shi***g me, but I guess there are some real turds out there.
Robert Paul ReyesDude Wearing 'Drunk as Shi*' T-Shirt Arrested for DUI - This moron is smiling from ear-to-ear in his mugshot, evidently being photographed by the police wearing his Drunk as Shi* " T-shirt is the highlight of his life.
Robert Paul ReyesMan Stages Burglary to Avoid Going to Work: Video - A Florida man may have gotten out of going to work after staging a fake burglary at his home, but the place he ended up is probably worse -- jail.
Robert Paul ReyesThere's Something Rotten in Denmark... - Archaeologists excavating in the town of Odense, Denmark,unearthed some medieval barrels that were being used in the town`s old toilet area.
Robert Paul ReyesWoman Poops in Courthouse Elevator! - A Florida woman was arrested last month on the charge of 'nuisance injurious to health` after she allegedly defecated in an elevator at a courthouse in Fort Pierce.
Robert Paul ReyesEvil Priest Charged with DUI, Drug and Weapons Charges - A cop wouldn`t be surprised to pull over a vehicle with a priest with underage boys as passengers. But it`s not every day that a police officer pulls over a drunk priest who`s armed to the teeth, and holding a bag of weed.
Robert Paul ReyesThe Case of the Horny Old Man, Beautiful Masseuse & the Missing Rolex Watch - A legitimate massage doesn`t cost $300, the old man may have been a bit senile but he knew he was dealing with a prostitute. The horny old bastard didn`t deserve to get his watch back.
Robert Paul ReyesDude Cares for Baby Porcupine after Mom Becomes Roadkill: Video - A Maine man who was looking for a mineral found something even more valuable when he cut open the stomach of a dead porcupine on the side of the road in Minot.
Robert Paul ReyesDude Wins $650K in Lottery Day After Wife Dies from Heart Attack: Video - McDaniel`s is one lucky dude, he wins a small fortune and there`s no wife to nag him to spend his money wisely and cautiously.
Robert Paul ReyesBritish Bloke Pretends to be Mayor, Bamboozles Burg! - A man fooled a town in England into think he was their mayor by setting up a fake Twitter account.
Robert Paul ReyesInstant Karma: Redneck Driver Flips Bird, Crashes Seconds Later! Beautiful! Video! - This video is as close as perfection gets this side of heaven. A perfect ending would have entailed the truck catching on fire, the redneck burnt to a crisp, and the female driver stopping to roast a wiener by the flames of the crash.
Robert Paul ReyesMcDonald's Offering $12 Burger in Switzerland - For $12 the special sauce`s prime ingredient should be caviar, and the burger should be served on a silver platter.
Robert Paul ReyesHot Chick Named Crispi Tries to Set Ex-Boyfriend's House on Fire With Pound of Bacon! - Cameo Crispi: I love alliteration, bacon and hot crazy women. If I could teach Crispi to respect bacon, I wouldn`t mind spending the rest of my life with her.
Robert Paul ReyesNaked Man Tells Cops He's Making Tree His Home - I am OK with firefighters coaxing a kitten to come down from a tree, but a house could have been burning down while they wasted an hour negotiating with this sorry excuse for a human being.
Robert Paul ReyesLady Arrested for DUI After Laughing at Cops Prior to Sobriety Test - You don`t snicker when your spouse inquires if her new pants make her look fat, you don`t giggle when your boss asks if you`ve been surfing porn sites, you don`t smile when an IRS agent demands to know if you have secret foreign bank accounts, and you don`t laugh when a cop asks if you`re drunk.
Robert Paul ReyesUFOlogist Snaps Photos of Five UFOs Flying Near Saturn: Video - Videos of UFO`s hovering over our little blue planet are a dime a dozen, a UFO video and five bucks might get you a small cup of coffee at Starbucks.
Robert Paul ReyesEpic Senior Citizen Food Fight at the Golden Corral - Never mind the thugs and rednecks who patronize the Waffle House, it`s the senior citizens who dine at the Golden Corral you need to avoid.
Robert Paul ReyesOutrage: Woman Hit By Golf Ball Sues Golfer - Shame on Percenti for filing her frivolous lawsuit, may the gods of gold exact revenge on her.
Robert Paul ReyesViral Video: Japanese Gum Commercial Features Cat Bigger Than Godzilla! - The commercial is for chewing gum, I don`t get the connection between a giant cat and gum, but it`s a cool video!
Robert Paul ReyesDude Locks Wife in Shed for Singing 'Ding Dong the Witch is Dead' About his Mom Video! - It`s bad enough that Salmon`s wife didn`t attend his mother`s funeral, but singing "Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead" is beyond the pale.
Robert Paul ReyesMom, 60, Freaks Out Over Inability to Change Son's Cell Phone Plan - Denise Gillespie screamed at store employees because she was upset she couldn`t make changes to her son`s plan due to the fact she was not on his plan.
Robert Paul ReyesTaco Bell Diner Assaulted for Burping - If I`m desperate and I dine at a Taco Bell, I don`t mind if the customers belch as long as they don`t retch or have an attack of the runs before making it to the restroom.
Subcsribe to theSOP's Crazy World feed.
Subcsribe to theSOP's Crazy World audio podcast.
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