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Published:August 4th, 2010 17:04 EST
To Sex Or Not To Sex: That Is The Question

To Sex Or Not To Sex: That Is The Question

By S. D.

This is meant to be a sort of questionnaire, to help you (not YOU, I mean the whimsical general "you" that could apply to anyone asking this question) decide whether you should be giving up your virginity to that boy/girl/car. This quiz is meant mostly for people under the age of 18. Once you`re an adult, you can do what you want. So without further ado...

"SHOULD I HAVE SEX?" QUIZ

1. Are you at least 13 years old?
If YES, you may move on to the next question.
If NO, let me start by saying:  you probably haven`t even reached puberty yet, or if you have, you sure aren`t far along in it. For that reason alone, you`re not ready to have sex. Your parts are not yet well-developed enough for it - brain included. Period.

2. Are you at least 15 years old?
If YES, you may move on to the next question.
If NO, you`re probably not ready to have sex either. Sure, by this point you may have all the required parts. But you`re also probably still in middle school, or have barely started high school. The level of your emotional maturity is probably not higher than that of a teaspoon. So really, it`s best if you wait a little while longer. Or at least read the next few questions and then decide.

3. Are you embarrassed to go buy con[d]oms by yourself?
If NO, you may move on to the next question.
If YES, wasn`t I just talking about maturity? Seriously, if you`re legitimately too embarrassed or scared or uncomfortable to buy con[d]oms, you are probably not ready for sex. Those red cheeks and that internal shame you might feel as you`re paying for your protection is your own body telling you "This is NOT right." Needless to say, if you are incapable of even getting to the point where you are actually paying for protection, then that`s even worse. You NEED protection when you have sex. If you do not have it, you do not have sex.

4. Speaking of, do you have con[d]oms in your possession?
If YES, you may move on to the next question.
If NO, sorry, no sex for you. You need con[d>oms. Sure, that might mean you only have to wait like an extra fifteen minutes to have sex, but still. You NEED to protect yourself against STDs and pregnancy (or against getting a girl pregnant). If you do not have con[d]oms, the only other possibility for sex is if you`re A) gay, and holding in your hands each other`s STD (or lack thereof) information or B) using some other form of protection to prevent pregnancy and holding in your hands each other`s STD information.

5. Furthermore, do you know how to put on a condom?
If YES, you may move on to the next question.
If NO, you better learn, and you better learn it good. Otherwise no sex for you.

6. Do you know the meaning of ALL of the following words: vagina, penis, hymen, ejaculate (noun and verb), sperm, anus, and NO?
If YES, you may move on to the next question.
If NO, you probably don`t know enough about sex to be having it. Did you know that the penis goes inside the vagina for (hetero)sexual intercourse? What about the fact that girls have a hymen covering their vagina, which is usually broken during sex, thereby often causing the girl in question to bleed (and lots of pain too)? Did you know that if you are told "NO" to sex and still insist on it, you could later be accused of rape? (Especially if that "no" never changes into a "yes.")

7. Have you been dating your first-time sex partner for at least a year?
If YES, you may move on to the next question.
If NO, this is not necessarily a sign that you shouldn`t be having sex. You could very well be completely ready and know your partner well enough. But it`s really best to have sex with someone that you`re in a long-term relationship with. By this time, you`ll probably know whether you love the person in question and whether she/he loves you back - and that`s important if you want to have sex and not be emotionally hurt because of it. It will also be more comfortable for you to have sex with someone that you know well. Sure, you don`t have to wait a whole year, especially if you`ve been friends with the person for a long time as well. But I find that it`s a good time limit to set if you`re not sure when you should be starting.

8. Are you or your potential first-time sex partner more than three years older than the other person?
If NO, you may move on to the next question.
If YES, this is again not necessarily a sign that you shouldn`t be having sex (for example, if you`re 17 and your partner is 21). But there`s this thing called statutory rape, and you may well get in trouble for having sex with someone more than three years older/younger than you. Especially if one of you is an adult and the other is a minor.

9. Would you consider killing yourself if you had sex with this person and then they refused to "be" with you anymore? (As in, boyfriend/girlfriend, or an unofficial equivalent, or something.)
If NO, you may move on to the next question.
If YES, whooaaa. Slow down, sweetheart! Remember what I was saying way back in the first question about emotional maturity? You obviously do not have it! It`s unhealthy to be so obsessed with someone that you would actually kill yourself over them, especially if they turn out to be such an abusive a-hole that they would leave you right after taking your virginity. No, you should not be having sex with this person if you even suspect that this might happen. And even if you don`t suspect it, you should not be having sex with this person if that`s the kind of reaction you`d have should it happen.

10. On a less drastic note, would you regret giving your virginity to this person if you didn`t end up "together forever"?
If NO, you may move on to the next question.
If YES, just keep in mind that most things don`t last forever. You can very easily have a beautiful experience with someone, but then things between you two just don`t end up working out. If you are honestly worried about this, then maybe you should wait to give up your virginity when you`re less worried. There`s no point in doing it now just so you can regret it later.

11. Are you being pressured into having sex?
If NO, you may move on to the next question.
If YES, stop right there. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. DO NOT have sex with someone just because your peers "are all doing it." DO NOT have sex with someone if they are forcing you into it. The very best reason for you NOT to have sex is because you don`t want to! Talk to your parents or another adult that can help you, or even the police if you`re worried that the person in question will try to rape you. But don`t give in to anyone`s demands unless you`re sure you want to. (Oh, and don`t you DARE pressure anyone else into it either!)

12. Have you discussed sex and all of its many facets in detail with your partner?
If YES, you may move on to the next question.
If NO, then you`re probably not ready for sex. You don`t know what your partner is thinking or feeling. You probably haven`t even given much though to your own feelings. And most importantly, if you`re not comfortable enough with your partner to just talk to them about all of this, then you`re not comfortable enough with that person to have sex with them.

13. Do you know what you would do if you/your partner got pregnant?
If YES, you may move on to the next question.
If NO, then you`re not ready. You must consider the possibility of pregnancy and decide what you/your partner would do should it happen before you start having sex. Look at all options!

14. Do you believe that sex is a dirty thing?
If NO, you may move on to the next question.
If YES, you are not mature enough to have sex. Period.

15. Do you feel ready to have sex?
If YES, you may move on to the next question.
If NO, then don`t. Simple as that.

16. Has your first-time sex partner taken this quiz and moved on after each question?
If YES, congratulations! You are (probably) ready to have sex!
If NO, you`re not ready to have sex yet. Try again another day!

That`s the end of the quiz! Keep in mind that this is by no means a complete diagnosis of whether you are ready to have sex or not. Only YOU really know. But I hope that this quiz may have given you a better idea of what to do if you were previously unsure.

 

Yay!