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Published:May 16th, 2007 00:37 EST
Dubya's Dance With Democrat Davis

Dubya's Dance With Democrat Davis

By John Lillpop


How many hard-core, bootjack conservatives are aware of the fact that Lanny Davis was an official in the Bush administration?

Yes, the same Lanny Davis who is credited with teaching Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton how to lie with a straight face. And while under oath, no less.

That Lanny Davis was actually named by George W. Bush to serve on the Privacy and Civil Liberties Board in 2006.

That same Lanny Davis apparently became disenchanted at White House actions which, in his view, interfered with the independence of the Board, so he abruptly resigned on May 14, leaving the board without a Democrat.*

A civil liberties board without a Democrat is about as untoward as a protest march by illegal aliens without Mexican flags, or an Islamofascist company picnic without at least a couple of decapitations to remove suspected ham sandwich eaters from amongst the faithful.

That is, completely unheard of and without precedent.

Lanny Davis, it will be recalled, was the extraordinarily smooth talking, smiley-faced lawyer who spent most of 1993 through 2000 on television talk shows defending Bill Clinton against charges of adultery, promiscuity, sexual harassment, immorality, and unseemly perversion.

That was on good hair days.

On bad hair days, Davis was forced to deal with real issues: Perjury, subornation of perjury, and obstruction of justice by the 42nd president of the United States.

How smooth was Lanny Davis?

Consider these examples:

Davis once sold AIDS insurance to Mormon missionaries who rapped on his door in hopes of selling LDS theology.

Only in the very small print was it disclosed that the insurance was valid only if redeemed within 60 days prior to the death of the insured and included only cremation services and specifically excluded all other medical and funeral expenses as well as decorative urns.

He once argued that Clinton's sordid affair with Monica was actually a sign of character, because it clearly demonstrated a lack of religious bigotry on the part of America's sexually-addicted and horny CEO.

According to the creative Davis, by "giving his all" to a chunky Jewish girl with an oral-compulsive disorder, President Clinton was setting an example for tolerance and acceptance.

Hillary, most Jewish rabbis, and Monica's parents were not so keen about this argument, and Hillary's verbatim denouncement cannot be reprinted, at least not in a family rag.

Lanny Davis eventually weaseled his way into a cabinet level position in the Clinton administration.

Although the Davis Department of Plausible Deniability, Perjury, and Obstruction of Justice was mostly surreptitious, beltway insiders claim that only Richard Nixon's Department of Plumbers and Dirty Tricks was more nefarious, covert, and anti-American.

Why in the world would Dubya appoint such a scalawag Democrat to an important post in government?

What other instances of Dubya Shock are yet to be disclosed to fretting conservatives?

Is former Mexican President Vicente Fox in charge of "Triangulation of Rule of Law through Comprehensive Immigration Reform" at the White House?

Has the president cavorted with singer Sheryl Crow to evaluate the use of bathroom tissue at the White House in order to detect waste and fraud and flagrant violations of green protocol and etiquette?

Is Mayor Gavin Newsom of San Francisco secretly advising the White House on diversity training in order to assure that gay and lesbian soldiers are brought into mainstream military life?

Or is this yet another isolated example of a president who is crying out desperately for help with the only tool at his disposal: Mind-numbingly inept staffing decisions and appointments?


John Lillpop is a recovering liberal.