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Published:March 3rd, 2009 19:10 EST
Does God Have An Answering Machine?

Does God Have An Answering Machine?

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Dutch artist Johan van der Dong has set up a local telephone number in the Netherlands, where he urges people to leave messages for God on his answering machine.

Callers dialing 06-4424-4901 (or +316-4424-4901 if calling from outside the Netherlands) from March 7 will hear.

`Hi, you are speaking to God. I`m not in right now so leave a message after the beep.`" Reuters


A minuscule percentage of the Dutch population believes in God, Dong would have better luck setting up an answering machine for a porn actress.

This stunt doesn`t work on an artistic or theological level, Dong may be a talented artist but he should have hired a writer. No deity worth his salt would ever say "Hi, you are speaking to God." When the God of the Old Testament speaks he doesn`t have to introduce himself to his fearful followers, they`ll know it`s Him by the thunder in his voice and the lightning in his eyes.

Lord God Almighty would never say "Hi" like he`s addressing his pal or next-door neighbor. The Supreme Being would bellow: You sinner down there, how dare you seek an audience with me.

And God would never use an answering machine, he wouldn`t leave proof behind that he doesn`t answer prayer. But if you want to call the Lord`s answering machine, just remember he doesn`t accept collect calls.