January 2nd, 2009 17:07 EST
Many Happy Turns to Earth in 2009
We on Mars, congratulate Earth for entering a new year around the sun. As you realize as well, Earth will be revolving around the sun, a little slower year by year.
It still has a long way to go before it finally stops revolving. When that day comes we`ll think of something together, so you don`t have to worry now, among many problems you are experiencing.
Just a word about the millions of dollars worth of firecrackers, illuminating the earth skies as the earth enters a new solar year: Couldn`t you spend this money to feed the hungry on earth? Or to buy clothes for those who can not afford them? Or to treat the ill?
You are wasting so much money on such short-time pleasures...
And the money you waste in the slot machines... and the money you waste for smoking and narcotics... and on wars... Why can`t you have peace like we do in Mars? Do we have to teach you everything to be happy? God has given you brains to think and solve your problems. It is time that you start using it.
We do have problems as well, on Mars. Our planet too is getting old.
We are not getting as many tourists from other galaxies, as we used to. And the life here is getting boring as we live longer. We jump around our entire planet many times during our life spans and see all of it. We need new places to visit.
Maybe we start coming to earth more often, but we are scared that you may shoot down our flying saucers. Remember the one you shot in your air base many years ago? And the one shot in Siberia? What good is it for you to shoot down our flying saucers? Do they harm you in any way?
Anyway, we send you our brotherly wishes for 2009. Take care and eat more "Bacon".
Ha ha ha ! Many happy turns to earth!