October 15th, 2007 13:44 EST
Nasty NASCAR? Vaccinations Needed?
( Transcript of Audio Podcast)
Heading to NASCAR anytime soon? Well, maybe you should consider getting your shots. At least, that's what our government thinks you should do.
Homeland Security has informed their aids that before they head to the races– to do studies on large crowds and terrorism readiness-- they have been instructed that they need to get shots for hepatitis A and B, "as well as tetanus, diphtheria and seasonal influenza." I can't even say that one. WOW!
Now, when I first read this, I thought they were talking about Guantonamo Bay OR Washington, DC, the original home of the sickness that plagues us Americans. But no, they were talking about NASCAR.
Now, if you've ever been to a NASCAR race, you will know that NASCAR packs in a crowd of all sorts of people. No one can pack the seats of a stadium like NASCAR. Not even Joel Osteen.
Now, I've been to many races and I can tell you that they may have a little litter problem, but disease? Hmmm…not possible. There's so much booze there that a germ could never live.
I grew up with this segment of population and the dirt under their fingernails is what built this country. They're hard-working, blue-collar workers that don't consider WORK a four-letter word. They work 9-5 or longer, and all they want is for their government to keep feeding them the hopes of Mom, apple pie and an American car.
There is a BIG difference in a stain and dirt. Oil and hard work never comes out of your fibers, even Washington knows that one-- well, at least the OIL parts.
Cars are a way of life for folks like us. Mainly on the count of, we are always fixing ours. I have had more 500-dollar cars than any local used car lot has ever had. And, we consider it a sin to call in auto service if you have a flat tire. Show me one NASCAR fan that can't change an alternator and a water pump and I will change it for you.
If you want to see the reaction of a crowd at a NASCAR race for the purposes of terror readiness, you just need to do one thing: cancel the race. That'll make them rise up like the Alamo. OR, just keep calling them dirty. They'll spit shin you and hang you out to dry.
One thing that strikes me as odd is, if you were a terrorist and you wanted to hit a target group of people, why would you hit folks that HUNT, carry guns, drive 4-wheel drive trucks and think that WWF is conflict resolution? Come get a little dirt underneath your fingernails-- it might look good and honest on TV.
Washington, stop sending your aids to do your dirty work. Get out there among the people. See what they do and talk to them and LISTEN. After all, you pay 100's of millions of dollars to get our attention and we have to hear you tell us how we should... eat, live and SHOWER.
Please, don't let this misunderstanding you have become an epidemic. Find a cure before you separate us any more, as we say, "Git 'er done," before we get a case of the Red White and Blues.
Will Roberts "The Good Will Tour"
Robert "Will" Basgall
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