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Published:January 12th, 2015 14:50 EST

Top Ten Reasons Why Obama Skipped France Rally

By Robert Paul Reyes

President Barack Hussein Obama is facing intense criticism for his inexplicable absence from the Paris solidarity rally in the wake of deadly attacks by Islamic terrorists.


Numerous world leaders marched with French President François Hollande on Paris Sunday expressing support of victims of Islamic tyranny, but Obama was notably accident.

The New York Daily News headline blared: You Let the World Down!

There is even a Twitter hashtag: #ReasonsObamaMissedFranceRally:

We shouldn`t be so quick to condemn Obama, I`m sure he had legitimate reasons for missing the France Rally:

It was his turn to babysit Joe Biden.

Michelle Obama wasn`t going to let him anywhere near those hot Parisian babes.

Sunday is always reserved for a marathon session of playing Twister with former bodyman Reggie Love.

ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Gahdadi forbade him from attending.

Actually he was planning to attend, but then he learned that the rally was to protest Islamic terrorism and not in support of Jihad.

It was a special day at the White House: NFL playoffs and barbeque Bo the pooch.

Everyone knows that Sundays are reserved for a bondage session with Valerie Jarrett.

Benjamin Netanyahu was there, Obama would rather give his wife a pedicure than be anywhere near that guy.

Obama was too busy writing a love letter to Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, or as he calls him " My hairy teddy bear Islamic sweetheart. "

Obama was afraid a wimp like him wouldn`t be allowed in a gathering of world leaders.

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