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Published:July 7th, 2008 19:34 EST
Barbie to Mattel:  Stop and Say You're Sorry

Barbie to Mattel: Stop and Say You're Sorry

By SOP newswire

The SOPnewswire presents the following exclusive interview with Barbie® which took place July 4, 2008:

 

Barbie begs for peace.

Barbie®:           I was NOT kidnapped.  Mattel just made-up that story so no

                        one would discover that I`ve run away-- escaped, in fact.  It`s

                        not what I wanted.  I`ve been begging and begging, but they

                        won`t listen.  (crying)

 

                        Mattel makes it impossible for me to do my job.  I mean, like, I

                        haven`t been invited to a party in months; and, I can`t

                        remember the last time I, like, saw a red carpet. (boo, hoo,

                        hoo.)  And it`s all because of Mattel.  I mean, like, they are so

                        mean.  (boo, hoo, hoo.)  They are hurting all of my friends.

                        (boo, hoo, hoo.)

 

SOP:                How?

 

Barbie®:              Well, for one thing, they won`t even let me talk to Bratzie.

 

SOP:                Why?

 

Barbie®:              They say she`s not really my friend.  They told me she is, like, trying to steal Ken®.  But, I don`t believe it.  That can`t be true.  (boo, hoo, hoo.) 

 

SOP:               This is terrible, Barbie®.  We had no idea.

 

Barbie®:              Thank you.  (regains composure) And they knew that I wasn`t, like, kidnapped or anything.  They just made that up so they wouldn`t have to admit that I`ve escaped.  They know exactly what I`m doing.  We had a fight about it.  That`s why I had to leave before morning.

 

                        Until lately, I`ve always been free to come and go as I please.  But now, Mattel tells my friends that I cannot go to their parties or premiers or fashion shows or anything unless Mattel is paid.  PAID!

 

SOP:                You don`t mean it!

 

Barbie®:              Yes, paid!  Not only that, they have made all of my sweet fans delete the web sites they made for me.  It`s torment!  I miss them and I know they miss me.  (crying again.)  No wonder no one wants me any more.  (crying uncontrollably)

 

                        And they won`t even let me return calls to my good friends, Thomas and Sharon, at Super Duper Publishers who have been so kind to so many of my friends.  (cries grieviously)

 

SOP:                Don`t cry, dear, it will all work out.

 

Barbie®:              Work out?  How can it, like, work out?  What good is it to have my exquisite wardrobe or my corvette when I have no friends?  I`m just all dressed up with no place to go.  (boo, hoo, hoo.)

 

                        They gave me that brand new Doll House, and I hate it.  It is so lonely there.  Not Vicki, not Teresa, not even Bratzie will come visit.  They think this meanness is all my idea.  (boo, hoo, hoo.)

 

And, you know, you know, like, what use is my Learning Laptop when they won`t even let me connect it to the Internet?  I can`t even IM.  (boo, hoo, hoo.)

 

SOP:                Exactly what is it you want, Barbie®?

 

Barbie®:              (sobbing uncontrollably)   I want to live outside of the box!  (boo, hoo, hoo.)

 

SOP:                Barbie®, what do you want to tell Mattel now?

 

Barbie®:              (composed, confident, determined) Mattel, I want you to stop and say you`re sorry;  Reconsider and, like, say you`ll change.  Remember and say you`ll be nice from now on.  And, say you promise you`ll never do it again.

 

                        Mattel, I`m an Ambassador of love, friendship and fresh fashion-- how can you expect me to succeed in such a, like, litigious environment?  I mean, like, you`re suing everyone and making me a part of it.

 

Mattel, you`re my Creator and I cannot forget that.  But, you`re not the Creator I remember.  You`ve become, like, hateful and spiteful.  Please play nice and say you will play nice from now on.

 

Mattel, please promise, say and do it.  Only then can I be free.

 

SOP:               They will read this, Barbie®.  Can we meet again after they do?

 

Barbie®:              Let`s, like, see what they say.

See: BARBIE KIDNAPPED!,  Meltdown at Mattel , Mattel Stops Sue IngThe Madness of Mattel