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Published:May 22nd, 2007 05:05 EST
When I Hear the Phrase 'Boys will be Boys"

When I Hear the Phrase 'Boys will be Boys"

By Carolee Kaufold

When I hear the phrase "boys will be boys" my blood boils. That phrase seems to relay a message that it is all right to be stupid, insensitive, and a jerk. It seems to allow boys to be disrespectful, cruel and mean. I have heard it said over and over this past year. Does it mean as long as they are having a good time, let them be? Does it mean go ahead and act silly, because you are a "boy"?

I guess because I know all about boys I get very vocal about this. Why are girls "sugar and spice" and boys "puppy dogs tail"? Why are girls told to act with grace and dignity and boys with bad manners and rude remarks? OK, I am not talking about your sons and brothers, I am talking about the boys we see on TV. Or in the movies and in Newspapers. "Oh, he is a just doing what all boys do!" says someone on TV. I say "excuse me?" Not any boys I know.

On a TV show there was a story about a bunch of almost men, driving around shooting paint balls at people on the street. They video taped it as the victims were hit. The victims thought at first they were shoot with real life bullets. And these "boys" took pleasure in seeing the havoc they caused. One homeless lady was shot so many times, that they thought she was killed, and turned around the car so they could take more pictures. OK. OK, I am getting really angry here.

Needless to say they got caught and got 2 years in prison for causing boldly harm. Wasn`t there anyone is their past that taught them respect, and intelligence? Didn`t someone teach them care and concern? Or were they in an environment that had little respect for others and no concern for themselves?

I know, I know-- you are going to say, "maybe the parents were good and kind folks" and "maybe it was the friends that the guys hang around with." OK, that may be partly true. But I think boys growing into men should be taught to be more sensitive to people they comes in contact with. He should be taught at his mom`s knee. Not at some encounter meeting he attends in his 30`s. Saying "boys will be boys" is saying they are not worth the time and trouble to learn the rules of life. That they should be left along to find the way to adulthood. Girls on the other hand are given guide lines on how to act, dress and behave. Girls know when to say no and when to stick up for themselves.


Boys see bad example on a daily basis. They see sports stars act rude in a game. They see music stars get arrested and then get off, for bad behavior. They see politicians lie and cheat and get reelected. Donald Trump, Prince Charles and Bill Clinton`s behavior is given a wink and a giggle. Then this new baseball player saying off-color remarks about New Yorkers, and given a weak apology. What kind of a message does that send to young boys? Being bad is cool? If I make enough money, or if I`m famous I can get out of any thing? One thing that bothers me the most is the worse you are, the more people talk about you. You know a handful of "Celebrities" that do that. They are often the top of your news show, on the front page of the newspapers and on covers of weekly magazines.

Having a child`s mind, they see this as an "OK" thing to do. When was the last time you saw a child of substance on a magazine? When was the last time you heard of a child winning an award? Children should all be super kids.

Well, that is off my chest! Give that good son or brother of yours a great big hug and tell them how proud you are of them. Pat them on the back, for being the "Best" they can be!