November 11th, 2007 01:09 EST
Two Sweeties From Mars
Astronauts meet a group of Martians upon arrival on their first visit to Mars and are very surprised to hear that Martians do speak English, but with funny noises.
"Wwwelcome bzzzt to Mars beeep!" greets one, the earthlings.
"Thank you" answers the astronauts, "so you speak English!"
"Yees, eee bzzzt, we do."
"Can you show us how we can reach Point A4XY5?”
"Shure bzzzt, beeep,” answers the Martian. He takes a map of Mars and points to the place of the astronauts.
"Thank you. But, how come you speak such a funny English?"
"Because, weeee bjjjt, we learn Eeeenglish from the BBC English by radio program bjjjjt bzzzz eeeee."
Astronauts later proceed to the Mars Administrative Headquarters and are taken into a laboratory to be shown how Martians reproduce.
Martian scientists take two tubes of liquid, mix them in a big transparent bowl- assemble plastic- and, after a minute, out comes a new Martian: buggle buggle bugggle- he starts walking.
"Now bzzzzt bjjt, will you show us how you reproduce on earth zzzzzz?”
Astronauts look at one another. There is a woman astronaut among them. "Well, we have to show you," says the group chief; and to the woman astronaut, he commands, "Choose one of us!”
The choice is made and the process begins.
After half an hour, the Martians ask, "Where is the new earthling bzzzt bjjjt?"
"It takes nine months and ten days, my dear,” explains the chief astronaut.
"Hmmm, why then they hurried bzzzzt bjjjt eeeee in the last few earth minutes?"