Contact theSOPAbout theSOPSupport theSOPWritersEditorsManaging Editors
theSOP logo
Published:July 4th, 2008 09:18 EST
Without seductive virgins, this gig sucks!</

Without seductive virgins, this gig sucks!

By John Lillpop

Brothers and Heirs to the Throne of Heaven,

Praise Be to Allah!

After our arrival here six years ago, we embraced the clouds and thanked Allah for deliverance from the infidel devils lead by that dyslexic Christian cowboy from Texas.

We prayed that, Allah willing, Bush would be forced to spend eternity with Nancy Pelosi in San Francisco, a situation otherwise known by Christian infidels as hell.

Brothers, all is good in Islamic Heaven, save one detail.

Each of the 72 virgins that greeted your martyr brothers is the spitting image of Helen Thomas, a fiction writer who works in Washington D.C., Capitol City of the infidels.

Pray for us, brothers: These women are virgins, but not by choice.

This is not what we were promised as our reward for being blown to smithereens.

Allah willing, your prayers will deliver unto us 72 middle-eastern Muslim women, ages 15- 21, lean but not mean, beautiful and still virgins by choice.

Allah speed brothers! 

Without seductive virgins, this gig sucks!

Your Comrade in Death,
Mohamned Atta